QUESTIONABLETAKTIX

2005-12-18T05:40:00.000-05:00

Neal n' Nikki - Review

2005-12-12T08:08:00.000-05:00

6 words... "what happened to you, Mr Chopra?"

5 words... "where was the censor board"

4 words... "a sardar with guitar"

3 words... "push-up bras"

2 words... "oh god"

1 word... "ufff!!"

- RM

bringzachback.com

2005-12-06T18:56:00.000-05:00

Chris Cornell is a wuss.

Bring back Zach!!!

Bring back the RAGE!!!

Beer Cheer

2005-11-27T11:34:00.000-05:00

Turns out I wasn't trying to get all high for no reason ... I was actually fighting cancer!!!

Finally ... My affinity for minus signs ... explained

2005-11-23T00:03:00.000-05:00

This is your brain under hypnosis.

Excellent article. One more reason why Brain Research is in thing for the next decade (at least).

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Pauper Review)

2005-11-19T01:03:00.000-05:00

Pretty decent movie.

That bugger who plays Potter better hope he makes enough money out of this to last a lifetime because he can't act even if his life depended on it. The chick looks increasingly hot. The wizardary (of the graphical kind) is really spectacular.

The only nagging question at the end of everything is how on earth are they going to make all 7 movies before one of the central characters has a kid of his/her own.

Actually, the trailer of King Kong right before the movie was really something. And tell you what I realized Peter Jackson always has a look alike in every fricking movie he makes. It was Gimli in the Lord of the Rings series and now in King Kong Jack Black looks strickingly similar. And he plays a fricking Director!!!! HELLOOOO!!!! All those Oscars have gotten to someone!!!

Anyway, do watch. (Like I've got to tell you that)

Blog Cookie

2005-11-19T00:57:00.000-05:00

There are somethings money can't buy, for everything else there is BitTorrent.

-- Wise Graduate Student

More thoughts from the loo

2005-11-16T14:14:00.000-05:00

I think it isn't lost on you guys how much I value posts that come to me in the loo. It is like this vortex of creativity(ed- yeah, let us be the judge of that) that I suddenly get sucked into. I was determined not to post over the next few weeks (just to show how fricking busy I've been). Grad School is suddenly getting all hectic and there are just too many things to do. In addition to this I have embarked on re-applying to Grad School. Some have hailed me as a champion and have lauded my ability to endure the process all over again. Most think I am plain off my rocker. Anyway!!!

The point to the post. Today I have this god forsaken SPEAK Test to give and that has thrown my schedule off course for the entire day. So while I was waiting for this Test I suddenly felt the urge, for the lack of a better expression, to take a dump. The problem of course is I detest public bathrooms. In India while on those 48 hour long train journeys from Pilani I refused to use the public bathroom. There is something fundamentally wrong about expecting a person to share his toilet with a thousand other souls (and bottoms). Here in the US too I loathe having to run to one. However, with my eating the food I cook, daily toilet runs have become the norm.

So 20 mins back, when I heard my stomach express dissatisfaction with my cooking, I bolted for the nearest restroom. Now there is one in my office building and that is ideal because it has just one pot. You are assured of privacy and people don't really care too much. The one in this building I am in right now has these multi-pot restrooms. Boy! Are they uncomfortable!!! Just as I walked in I noticed one was taken by a gent wearing Nike and what looked like a pair of stone washed denims (who wears those!!! jeez!!!). While I waltzed in I noticed he was busy letting one rip. Oh! Disgusting. But as soon as I think he noticed I was going to be his neighbor for a while, he took a turn to being polite. He resorted to more cultured farts and silent dumps. Man!! That's torture isn't it? The last thing you want to be while taking a shit is polite. I took my seat. What followed was what I can only describe as civil excretion. (Me(2Hrs from when I wrote this)-I can't believe I wrote this !!!) I was really conscious. I didn't want to be identified. Especially when my tummy was being this unfriendly. It was so fricking quiet in the restroom you could've heard the proverbial mouse fart. For 5 minutes I don't think either took a loud breath (though there may be better explanations for this). Then Mr.Nike did the polite thing and after a courtesy flush quickly wound up and bolted. I was done too but I waited till I was sure he left the restroom. The last thing the two of us needed was a restroom conversation. When I left the restroom I couldn't stop smiling about the whole incident. And hence the post.

It is a weird thing this restroom. Sitting there trying not to check out the make of the shoes of the guy next to you. You do crazy things. The urinals are worse. I'll save that to another post. Right now, I shall get back to being busy!!!

MALLU ROCK!!!

2005-11-13T17:42:00.000-05:00

AVIAL: NADA NADA

I have a feeling this has been linked to on other blogs already. In any case, this is for the people who haven't checked out this cool Mallu band. Nice sound. Check out the drummer for his kickass look.

Under the Influence

2005-10-23T02:48:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while you meet a person in life whom you can't stop hating. It is almost like you are working with a depleted emotional vocabulary when they are around. You loathe them and hope they stop existing. What ever they do, good or bad, irks you. You seldom give them the benefit of the doubt. You always see an ulterior motive in every thing they ever do. You feel no guilt. Not a tinge.

Until, that is, on a nice Saturday night while romancing a bottle of beer you come across a photograph. Memories rush back. You feel a tinge of nostalgia looking back. For suddenly, the good moments you had together engulf you. It is a wonderful thing, memory. It is almost like it is biased to rig up good memories of every one you've ever known. Or maybe it is the beer. However, I can't deny the fact that the guilt is hitting home. Finally. You could've given them a little credit. Maybe, they weren't that bad after all.

All through my life (all 23 years of it) I've managed to find myself one of these people. Someone to vent my frustration on and blame everything on. At every juncture, I realize, I made demons out of people and maybe some of them didn't deserve that. Maybe, it is the beer talking. I am sure I won't be this sorry tomorrow. This is the best shot they have of eliciting an apology from me.

So here:

SORRY!!! I am not sure you know who you are. But I do.

Sorry!

There's a little Capt. Morgan in all of us !!!

2005-10-16T01:26:00.000-04:00

Watch the ad or google Capt. Morgan's Rum!!!

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of Were-Rabbit

2005-10-15T21:49:00.000-04:00

"The must watch movie of the year!!!", screams another redundant critic in one of the prominent newspapers. For once I am obliged to agree. This must easily be the most enjoyable movie I have watched over the last few months. Absolute paisa vasool. You can pay just to watch Gromit's brow-like-thing make all those delightful expressions. So much life in something as inanimate as clay!!! It speaks volumes for the kind of heart that must've gone into this movie. Absolute delight.

The story is about Wallace, a regular rural England inventor and his delightful companion (calling him a dog just doesn't do justice) Gromit. They run Anti-Pesto, humane pest control and basically keep a check on the local rabbit population that is wrecking havoc on the "Annual Giant Vegetable Competition". This competition is pretty much what keeps the folks in this village occupied through the year. The village folk are a motley bunch of very funny characters (one called PC Makintosh had me laughing for a while). Well, the plot involves how the Gromit and Wallace work out the problem of this Were-Rabbit that has been pillaging the locals' gardens. The plot is simple enough but it unfolds as very cute and extremely funny movie. Absolutely clean entertainment. A movie for the generations.

I can't say enough about Gromit. Him and his very expressive set of eye-brow-like-things. Wo!!! Even if the movie were made up of just these expressions I am sure it'd be worth the 5 dollars we paid for the tickets.

This is one movie you ought to take your girlfriends too. The cuteness factor so high I am sure you'll end up snuggling at the end of the show. :) (Yes! Yes! That is what I assume all you couples do! Very bland snuggling.)

Anyway, the movie gets 5 bunnies. That's the highest rating I've given to any movie. Only 5 beer mugs and 3 hash brownies score higher. Go watch!!!

Notre Dame vs. USC

2005-10-15T19:44:00.003-04:00

What an absolutely awesome game!!! Decided in the last 10 secs. Unbelievable.

I was rooting for the Irish.

USC won.

Oh! Man ! A game I'll remember for a while.

Thank God for Bad English

2005-10-12T17:56:00.000-04:00

It is that time of the year again. Catalogs with people in costumes of questionable taste, flood our mail box. Swamped by tests and stretched for time, one can't be thankful enough for notices like this one I found in our Statistics Department:

Caution!!!

Don't Open Door without Code.

Door is Alarmed.

Use other door.

!

Updates: a) Subscribe request today: "i want to jion y group"

(b) Rediff Headline: "Meet BK Goenka, world's 5th largest towel maker" . Sigh! If only he were on a better diet!!

Rehman And The Rain

2005-10-10T02:20:00.000-04:00

It was an hour before the Rehman concert was supposed to start... And the heavens poured... They poured the way they rarely pour in Bangalore... It was almost like the dude above was making his presence felt... All we needed was a burst of thunder that sounded ominously like, "remember me?"

Well, yes, we did... At that moment all everyone did was remember that one chap above, even the agnostics, even the atheists... The one dude who could perhaps control the weather... Hands subconsciously came together... As waterproof jackets let all the water in... As "the only reason I can even hope my cell will survive this is because it's a Nokia" were the most repeated words... As T-shirts were taken off and nichodofied (if I might Indianize the English language)... As the wind pricked your skin, reminding you of Alistair Maclean novels... As a few idiots (yes, there is no other word for it!) left...

Because the rain did stop... The 3D effects planned were in a soup (literally!!) but the show did happen... Starting a couple of hours late... But who cared, it was the most amazing exhibition of Bollywood talent ever... From 'suniyo re' to 'taal'... From a classical rendition of 'humma' to what would 'ghanan ghanan' have been like had it rained in the movie... From Sivamani on the drums to Rehman on the piano... From the Bombay theme to the Baba soundtrack... From Hari Haran to Shankar Mahadevan to Sukhvindar Singh to Alka Yagnik to Chitra to many, many others... From 'chhaiya chhaiya' to 'vande mataram'... There can be no words to describe it all... You just had to be there...

Every song was sung along... Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada equivalents... they were right when they said music knew no boundaries... there just couldn't have been a better demonstration of our 'unity in diversity' slogan... if you didn't know the lyrics (I was particularly clueless about the Baba soundtrack) you just made up your own... language-barriers be damned!! When Sivamani thanked his assistant, the crowd went up in unison... when 'vande mataram' played every fist was raised... and when the rains returned, no one cared... coz all 'worth-it' parameters had already been passed...

Yes, the rains did return... They snatched a live 'dil se' away from us... But it didn't matter... Coz at that point, nothing mattered... it was a concert where we waded in a foot of water to get out of the arena... Where 7 of us piled on in one auto and paid the auto-waala 450 bucks to take us 15 kilometers... It was a concert where Sudeep, Ankit, Thax, Bansal, Goyal were here... It was a concert where for the first time after Dec 2003, all of us (almost) were together again... It was a concert of going over barricades and standing on chairs... It was a concert that in some sense wouldn't have been the same, wouldn't have been as good, wouldn't have been so memorable without the rain...

Perhaps the guy sitting above, in all his wisdom, knew that already... :)

- RM

1000 Apologies

2005-10-02T00:24:00.000-04:00

I've turned on "word verification" for comments. Too much spam. Initially I was glad to see the comment count go up. Now it just plain pisses me off.

So again, 1000 apologies.

It Just Ain't Cricket Or How I loved, loathed and then loved and now loathe Indian Cricket

2005-10-01T15:37:00.000-04:00

When the average Boston Red Sox fan remembers the pre-2004 days and the pain associated with watching their team lose year after year at Fenway, I feel a certain kinship. For the fate of an Indian Cricket fan is worse and on a scale and magnitude beyond the capacity of any other. And I share this fate. As the average Indian male I was expected to do one of two things. Either be an exceptional cricket player or a rabid cricket fan. My dad had the foresight to see that athleticism isn't one of my virtues and so he enthusiastically supported me when I donned the garb of cricket fan. For the first 17 odd years of my life I knew no other game. The NBA was for the fashionable kids who wanted nothing to do with the common man's game. While they worshipped the Jordans and the O'Neils I put myself to sleep every night visualizing Sachin work one off his pads to the square leg boundary. Nothing came before cricket. Not acads, not food, not girls ... What pleasure I drew from watching the Indian cricket team play the Pakis in '98 or Sachin's heroics in Sharjah. That was the life. I even compromised on my 12th Standard boards to sit and watch the series in Australia. We had only just had a good series against the visiting South Africans. Screw chemistry!!! Sachin's on fire.

And then it happened.

It is difficult for a person not acquainted with the ways of a "rabid Indian cricket fan" to understand the pain that came with the "Match Fixing Scandal". Regardless of whether Azhar and Jadeja and Mongia did something wrong or not. Regardless of whether Kapil's tears were genuine or not. It hurt. The sanctity of the one thing we loved with such passion and such loyalty had been violated. The fact that there were questions raised on the credibility of the people we so blindly worshiped was difficult to digest. Some swore off cricket, others resorted to denial and others acted like they knew it all along (nothing is more annoying than the last lot of idiots, the know it alls, the Mr.Cools).

I don't recall what I went through simply because I was distracted. I was getting used to my new home in Pilani and the new life there. Life in Pilani brought with it a certain isolation, an insulation from the media and the general brouhaha surrounding the scandal. Some of us who had just gotten on campus were thankful for that. Even though we were disillusioned by the sudden turn the love was not all gone. We didn't watch anything remotely related to cricket for a semester. Slowly, the memories began to fade and we began to forget not necessarily forgive. Personally, I stayed away from the game. That was until the Home Series against the Aussies in 2001. That was a surreal experience. I can still distinctly remember when my interest was piqued. Watching Laxman and Dravid, the sincere and hardworking face of Indian cricket, toil in Calcutta is one of the redeeming moments of Indian cricket. I feel idiots in the media and the channels who sit and make money (off our misery) owe so much to these two gents, for their heroics did more than just rescue a test match. They made us believe.

The next few years were rosy. I watched as much cricket as I could. Sachin's flicks came back to put me to sleep. And when Kaif and Yuvraj brought us back from in brink in the Natwest series, it seemed like my loyalty towards what should be our national sport would never waiver.

It is amazing how I always underestimate Indian cricket's knack for drama. Just when you let your guard down and begin to throw behind them unquestioned loyalty, they do something that boggles your mind. Just when you bet a dinner for 2 on the fact that they'd score the required 350+ runs to win the World Cup, they come around to showing that the last 5 years were nothing but an illusion.

Sigh!

How did things come to this? What happened to the famous huddle and the men in Blue? "Team India" ...

We cricket fans, I believe, are a cursed lot. What wouldn't countries like Zimbabwe and New Zealand and even for that matter England give for the support and the adulation that we shower our team with? Every year we sign off our life, income, girl friends (in general) and family to follow the TEAM. We put so much hope and faith in a bunch of individuals. Choose to ignore their indiscretion and their personal flaws as long as they can smack a red cherry to the fence or send a stump cartwheeling. Only hoping that they reciprocate our faith with an honest day's work on the field.

What do we get? We get a captain who doesn't know his limits. We get players who believe they are bigger than the game. We get administrators who can't tell a bail from their dicks. We get Sharad Pawar who, instead of sitting at home thanking his stars that he hasn't been lynched so far for the bullshit he has done with Indian Politics, is here to whore off the one game that matters to us. What's up my hommies in the BCCI? Suddenly KPS Gill and the IHF look like a Sigma Six company. Why on earth are they getting a tax-holiday when they are screwing with us?

Aargh!!

As Eric Cartman would say, "F&*^ you Pawar, F&*^ you Dalmiya, F&*^ you Mahendra, F&*^ you BCCI, F&*^ you Ganguly, F&*^ you Bhajji, F&*^ you Nehra, F&*^ you Zaheer, ..."

You know what, I've said my goodbyes. I've thrown away my plans to go to the Caribbean in 2007. But I do hope they come, Ganguly and all. I hope they come in July when we have a Carrie or a Dolly or a Eugene brewing in the Atlantic. I hope Pawar and Mahindra and Dalmiya also decide to visit.

And I hope this time Amanda/ Beatrice/ Carrie/ Dolly/ Eugene/ Frank/ Gordon/ Hank/ Iris/ Joan/ Kendra/ Liam/ Mable/ Norah/ Owen/ Polly/ Qi/ Roger/ Sam/ Tina/ Ursulla/ Venessa/ William/ Xena/ Yo Yo Ma/ Zavier spare the innocent and the poor and take with them the rich and conceited bastards that plague the Indian psyche.

And where will I be? In a hash bar in Amsterdam. That's for sure. I don't think I'll live through another test of faith. I've had enough. I'd rather smoke weed and live it up in Amsterdam. And come 2007 I'll tell you what the Quarter Pounder with Cheese called in Am. For now adios to Indian cricket. Good bye and good riddance.

Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Maara - Review

2005-10-01T06:10:00.000-04:00

There were a total of 8 people in the hall... That should probably tell you something about the movie... But then, just like you shouldn't judge a book by its cover (or its movie for that matter!), you also shouldn't judge a movie from the number of people who queue up to watch it.

Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Maara was awesome... And that's probably an understatement. From the no-deviations-from-the-plot storyline to the stupendous acting to the very neat background score, there's almost nothing that you can point a finger at. If any of you have lost your faith in Bollywood, this is one movie you should watch... You'll forgive all the crap that has been dished your way.

I'm not discussing the story here... Mostly coz whatever I write will not be able to do justice to how wonderfully the subject has been treated, how impressive the portrayal is... If you've seen the trailers, you'd already know what it's all about... If you haven't, just go and see it... The name might have misled you, well, it's not a historical movie, I can tell you that... And has pretty much nothing to do with Gandhi's actual assassination... Except a remote connection... Oh wait, I said I wasn't discussing the story... So gus!

Let's just cut the crap and come to the one thing that carries this movie... The acting... Anupam Kher... We all know he's been wasted in Bollywood after Saaransh in crappy bald villain roles... This movie just shows the extent of that waste... If you think Bachchan was brilliant in Black as an Alzheimer's patient, hell, you gotta go see Kher... Urmila too is astounding... Her role is one that could have very easily been overplayed... But she does it just right... This girl's come a long way from her Rangeela gyrations... The plot or the screenplay also don't overdo her character, Trisha... When her fiance dumps her and a new guy enters, there is no sideplot... Is there a love angle there, we don't know for sure, the new relationship is left open to interpretation... No time wasted there coz the movie is not about that...

I think this is the highest score I've put down for any movie I've talked about here... But I give it an 8.5/10... Whoever's reading this, go watch it... Line up the theatres, this is a movie that deserves more than 8 people in the hall... All the junta in videsh, rent a DVD or something... I don't know who the idiots are who decided Paheli is our entry to the Oscars, Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Maara is the kind of stuff that could win it for us!

- RM

Hi! My name is Sanketh

2005-09-28T13:13:00.000-04:00

And I am a supreMACist.

Gasp! Choke!!! Repeat

2005-09-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

Sample the kind of "subscribe requests" I get for an e-group I moderate:

"Hi! Id like to join dis group. I feel dat it wud help wid my apping. Plz add me to da group."

I've made my peace with SMS-tongue but I find it unacceptable when you don't know the person you are talking to. And especially when that person is ME!!!

Thank Google I am not in India. I'd kick this kid's butt.

For now I just clicked the "deny" button.

Indiatimes cracks me up!

2005-09-25T02:22:00.000-04:00

Before anything else, there's quite an interesting dialogue on in Sanky's post below... so if you haven't read it, I suggest you hit that post first. It deals with more important issues, this one is just an I've-nothing-better-to-do post..

Anyways, to continue...

We have a net connection at home now and today I somehow ended up at Indiatimes... I glanced through the headlines on the main page... and well, rolled around laughing... an actual physical ROTFL happened!!

Why? Well, the list of news topics were these...

Ganguly vs Greg: Fate hangs in balance
New challenges await Team India
I've answers to Greg's charges: Ganguly
How utterly gutterly is TV news?
Sexed-up camera-phone images of stars
It's Ash versus Bips now - or is it?
Sunfeast: Uberoi sisters in doubles final
Bollywood drives India down under
When parents flirt
India's devoted son
Tabloid: Mallika reveals all
An officer and a thug
Bollywood scripting a travel story

All you have to do is correlate item 4 with what's all around it... talk about being holier than thou!! I should perhaps do a Raj Kumar... "jo sheeshe ke gharon mein rehte hain..."

=))

- RM

Indux Ver 1.0

2005-09-22T09:38:00.000-04:00

Crappy name ? Yeah! At least I have a name.

When I saw the Indian IT minister and Mr.Gates (with the smug smile) together, I considered it totally harmless. I said to myself, IT's a wonderful world. Here was Maran dissing Microsoft about a month back and look how smug he is in that handshake. Anyway, what raised my hackles and kind of got me out of hibernation was the GATES 7 POINT PLAN.

If the richest man in the world thought enough about our country and decided to spend all of 2 mins to come up with the 7 point plan, there must be some money to make. And tonnes of it. The question of course is where the, for the lack of a better word, fuck is the Indian Entrepreneur? There is a market of opportunities sitting out there. Why on earth are we waiting for a MNC to come and take over that too? Why are we smug (I like the word and I will use it many more times before the end of this piece) in our BPO chairs, thriving in the sea of insults that are engulfing us? Are we only meant to be service providers? Are we incapable of ingenuity or independent thinking? There is world of opportunity in our country. Especially when it comes to IT. We graduate around half a million Engineers every year. 99% of them want to do "something in computers" regardless of what their degree is in. We probably have one of the largest talent pools in the world. Yet we sit on our asses and watch a fricking college-drop out do what he does best -- get there before the other fella.

I worked for a while at an MNC myself and I remember the buzz there was about the uniqueness of the Indian market. How none of their strategies and market models would ever work in our place? So to say the least they are also starting from scratch. Not exactly from scratch but still it is our TURF. Doesn't a country of over a billion deserve a company or two dedicated to their IT/software needs? I am not a Computer Science guy but frankly how difficult is it to write an OS? Bill Gates did it!! Come on!

In all honesty, I believe we have an opportunity here. No wonder Microsoft, IBM, HP, Oracle and gang are all perked up and "adapting" to the Indian market. You don't have to graduate IIMA to get the point. In the garb of outsourcing they are slowly but steadily making their move on the Indian market. There is a market out there, people!!! We have to wake up and grab the bacon. There is a generation growing up inundated with technology. By the time they hit 20 they are going to want cheap hardware and robust multi-lingual software. Who better to do that than a home grown desi company?

So, all you computer science guys, get off your asses and make a lot of moolah. Come on buggers how long are you going to sit there taking crap from Mr.Kwcneskzi when Ramdin would be more than grateful to have you working for him? Billy boy is already there. Before he unloads more of his inefficient, rebundled crap at unsuspecting desis, act!

And do consider Indux as a possible name. It'll give me an opportunity to sport a smug (muwahahahaha) smile and shake hands with the next IT Minister fellow.

(Sigh!) Dreams.

In the news these days...

2005-09-20T01:59:00.000-04:00

The past few days have seen quite a collection of news stories... Here's my take on a few of them...

First of all, some maulana somewhere issued a fatwa against the short skirts and tops Sania wears on the courts. The dorky statement was quickly condemned by the Shariat Board which called Sania the pride of the country and the community... Or something like that. And of course, there were all those voices for Uniform Civil Code up again. Debates on news channels etc etc. I don't know why but people end up making a hoopla of every crazy thing every madman utters... Sometimes I think the only way to deal with this shit is to ignore it. Ha ha, I think by penning this down I just contradicted myself!!

Some videshi dude also released a book which said the KGB funded CPI and Congress political campaigns from the 50s to the 70s. I don't know how these people come up with stuff like this, there's absolutely no way to verify this, everyone involved has passed away, there are no documents to scan through and thankfully, it didn't hold the news channels' attention that much.

Those chaps in the BJP-RSS combine are busy fighting still... Advani is pulling the last punches before he throws away his towel. I've never seen a party go into disarray to such an extent after losing power. The Congree sure has had an easy time with these guys infighting. Actually, on second thoughts, getting the Left-combine to go along with them is tough enough!

And of course, the Greg-Ganguly fiasco... That's the ripest story of the past week. What exactly happened in that dressing room, I'm wondering why someone hasn't come up with a reward for whoever spills the beans! First there was the interview, then there was the story, then there was the behind-the-scenes story, after that a what-really-happened story, and now a truce-statement. Oh well, with the greatest competition to the Indian cricket team being a tennis-playing-teenager from Hyderabad, I guess these guys are just trying to stay in the limelight!

- RM

Forum Vs Garuda

2005-09-18T14:09:00.000-04:00

I spent half of my day today at Forum and another half at Garuda Mall... and the logician within me wants to do a comparitive study!

1> Garuda's huge. Forum is a tiny little kid compared to it. It helps that Garuda has a whole Shoppers Stoppe outlet within it.. but still... even without it, Garuda's got a lot, lot more variety when compared to Forum. First strike to Garuda!

2> Garuda has a Sports Station outlet which is too cool!! Even cooler is that they seem to be holding an amazing collection of tennis rackets. I mean, the latest ones... I could actually pick up a Wilson nCode and pretend I was Federer (that's the one he uses in case you didn't know it)... Garuda scores another point!

3> The INOX multiplex at Garuda has only 5 screens when compared to Forum's PVR which has 11. The seats at PVR are a lot more comfy and also, Forum is walking distance from my office which gives me easy access to advance-booking of weekend shows. Forum scores here.

4> And this one clinches it... Garuda, for some incredibly insane reason, doesn't have a bookshop! Forum, on the other hand, has Landmarks which is probably the best book-browsing store in the city. When you head to a mall, you wanna shop if you see something good but mostly, you wanna spend time looking around... without a book store, for many I'm sure, that experience is incomplete... and till Garuda gets one, I think Forum wins hands-down!

I do realize that this is a very Bangalore-centric post... but who knows, if you ever come here and wanna go book-buying or racket-hunting, you might end up remembering it...

Ha ha, high hopes, eh?!!

- RM

The Nehru-Gandhi Republic!

2005-09-16T01:40:00.000-04:00

Rahul Gandhi gave an interview recently and said that he could have been PM 10 years ago if he wanted to. Now, I don't know about you but that statement pissed the hell out of me. I mean, seriously, when he was 25, the only place I saw him ever was sitting in the VIP boxes at cricket matches cheering the team on. To even suggest that he could have gotten the top job is crazy, it's insulting. And it just shows how perhaps a part of the Congress party still works.

He kinda makes the right sounds in the rest of the interview, but this line sure sticks out like a thorn. The exact quote is, "I could have been Prime Minister at the age of 25 if I wanted to. But I decided I wouldn't do things in that fashion. I would not go around yelling at my seniors."

Maybe it's just me but I get the impression that 20-25 years from now, one of the Gandhi youngsters will be a PM candidate for sure. And I really don't think that this should be the case. There are many other upcoming politicians, if Rahul proves himself to be better than everyone else, sure go ahead, I'll vote for the dude. But we, and in particular the Congress party, really shouldn't be treating this as a given right now... it's still very early days... The Nehru-Gandhi link shouldn't matter... He or even Priyanka, they aren't the Prince Williams of India...

We're a republic, that's what my Civics textbook told me... The constitution has a "We, the people" preamble which says it all... Let's keep it that way in policy and in principle.

- RM

Salaam Namaste F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2005-09-15T07:43:00.000-04:00

I guess it's upto me to carry the mantle of this blog... For today I'll recount the different places where Salaam Namaste has copied F.R.I.E.N.D.S. scenes... (the movie in itself seems a lift from the Hollywood flick Nine Months but more on that some other time)

1> Joey and Chandler reclining their LazyBoys and going "aaaahhhhhh"... Saif and Arshad do the same.

2> Monica is a cook and is obsessed with cleanliness... Saif's character, yup, you got it.

3> The "you-two-are-perfect-for-each-other" speech perfectly translated into Hindi.

4> Ross with legs spread wide up on those things in the pergnancy room... Saif does a total copy.

5> Ross getting bumped on the head while Rachel is in labour, saying, "ouch, you have no idea how much that hurt" and getting an "I-can-eat-you-with-my-eyes" stare from Rachel... Preity and Saif reproduce it.

Ummm... You know what, walking down the stairs at Symphony, I was able to come up with 9 instances of plagiarism (even that seems too nice a word!)... I seem to have forgotten a few... Oh well, they weren't worth remembering either!!

- RM

On my mind

2005-09-06T23:54:00.000-04:00

(Stuff that's been on my mind for a while now, some redundant with what Rahul has to say:)

Sania Mirza:

a) Stop apologising for your attire.
b) Stop saying this is "how I play" and work on those unforced errors. And for heaven sake get that first serve going. Watching you play was almost like watching Ganguly bat.
c) What's with the nose ring?

NC State Football:

a) How the fuck do you concede 12 penalties in a game??!! 120+ yards. Those are 2 whole series.
b) Someone teach the Blackman guy some Math. How!! How!! How!! How do you call a fair catch at the half yard line? How!!
c) Jay !!! 2 interceptions!! Yay!! Keep up the good work buddy.
d) Someone get Amato better goggles.

The Indian Cricket Team:

!%@#%@%@#%@%@%!%$!%!@%

I've hit a wall right now (yes yes poor wall). So many things on my mind and I just can't seem to write them up. Well, this post is more of a "this week that year" post. More like a note to myself.
Thoroughly enjoying AI class. These are the kind of classes that make you want to stay at school.

Thats about it people!!! I am done!!!

Signing off for a long long time.

KBC - 2, BITS style!

2005-09-06T01:38:00.000-04:00

(To be sung to the tune of KBC 2 theme song)

Dekhiye yeh hai Mr. Vaibhav Kumar
Engineer banne ke liye the bekaraar,
Ghar waalon ne bahut kari IIT ki tension,
Lekin finally ho gaya inka BITS mein admission,
Movies dekhi, sac-out maara, music nite mein naache
SurpT ke koi bhi sawaal kabhi inhe na aate
Placement time OASIS managerial skills ko ghumaya
Interviewer impress hua, bahut accha job lagaya
Aaj bhi hai... Aaj bhi hai pakde yeh umeed ki dori
Don't lose hope is the moral of the story
Jisne seekha inse life mein kabhi na T put karna
BITS Pilani mein milega bhaiya, baaki sab se dugna!!

:D

- RM

Sania at the US Open

2005-09-06T01:26:00.000-04:00

Well, our girl played the U.S. Open for the first time and reached the 4th round. In a year of professional tennis, she's climbed up from being ranked almost 200 to what will probably be in the 30s after the slam. And in fact, if things go the way they have been, she'll in all probability be seeded at the Australian next year. Which is too cool!!

I saw all the 4 U.S Open matches she played... I must say, there definitely is hajaar scope for improvement... The first 2 matches saw more than 50 unforced errors which is unacceptable even at Under 14 years U.P. State level tourneys... Think about it... You need 4 points to win a game... 50 unforced errors means you gifted more than 12 games to your opponent... Which translates to more than 2 sets... Which translates to the whole damn match! Sania has a big-bang game, and there will be errors when she goes for her shots... But I'm looking more in the range of early 20s for the match, not 50!!

The second thing is the serve... She's not very tall, so she'll never have a serve that will scare the hell out of her opponents. I know she had pulled muscles in her abdomen here but even when she is fully fit, her serve is not all that great. She definitely times her groundstrokes very well but it's easy to see that that timing doesn't translate to her serve... These kind of things pretty much come naturally, either you have it or you don't, so she'll probably never have a service equivalent of her kick-ass powerful groundstrokes. But still, it doesn't need a genius to see that she can improve. Those first serve percentages have to move from late 40s to late 60s... Her flat outs are quite good but they have to be inside the lines more. And the second serve needs to stop becoming what we call in Allahabad tennis circles a "laddoo"... She perhaps needs to develop a heavy kick-serve, work on making the angles and getting the depth consistently. Tennis, after all is not just about power... To translate a saying at the Gymkhana Club back home to English... "If tennis was all about strength, Dara Singh (an Indian Rocky equivalent) would have been the champion."

It will take time, tangible improvements in her game will probably be out only by late next year and the jump from top 30 to top 15 will probably be more difficult than the journey till now. The top 10 in women's tennis right now are majorly above the rest, Sharapova showed it yesterday. Sania was playing quite well, it was easily her best match of the tournament. And yet, she lost 6-2, 6-1. The score probably doesn't do justice to Sania, she played better than it shows... But then, that's what competitive tennis is all about. Two games in both the sets went through some half a dozen deuces, Sharapova won them, used them to pump herself up and then ran away with the set. It's all in the mind, and as Sania gets more experienced, she'll hopefully be doing it to others too.

There's a long way to go for her... And we won't be seeing 10 jumps in rankings every week now... I wonder how patient our junta will be... We have crazy news channels that interview Sania's mother at 2 in the night... It's a hard road ahead... She has the potential, there aren't many in the world who can outpower Sharapova, those winners are brutal to say the least... And they’re what have brought her this far... But she now has to work on those parts of her game that aren't so great... The results won’t be instantly visible... She won't start serving up aces in the Australian Open... I just wonder how our Indian public will handle this... I still find it difficult to explain to junta why Karthikeyan isn't gettting podium finishes!!

- RM

Pop Up Message

2005-09-02T12:29:00.000-04:00

Noticed how pop-ups no longer offer FREE PORN or even a MILLION DOLLAR LOTTERY.

The in thing now for a pop-up to say is "FREE GAS".

Sign of the time we live in?

With gas hitting $5 a gallon I guess "FREE GAS" is more likely to get a guy to bite the bait than a scantily clad 20 something asking for his credit card.

"Why 'guy'?", yells the feminist in the back.

"Because I thought you women never fell for it!", I reply, "Do you?".

Hmm ... is it just me or did this blog just get ridiculously boring.

Not so much a torture

2005-08-27T03:23:00.000-04:00

It is a Friday night and I am high again. It is a rule I guess. We watched Brothers Grimm. Pathetic movie. I have lost faith in Matt Damon. And Terry Gilliam should've stopped after Monty Python. At least after Brazil. What a lame ass director. Stop living the legend Terry and start thinking about us. At least get Cleese to act in one of your movies. Or stick to animation.

Well, with Nitish having said what he has to say about his TA experience let me express mine. I am quite looking forward to mine. One of the reasons for this is because I don't believe I am much of an educator. I look forward to people wanting to learn from me. It is quite an experience and kind of brings with it a sense of responsibility. I've always loved to talk to people about something I love . Being a TA gives me a bunch of kids who don't really have an option but to listen. I frankly don't give a fuck about a wise ass. Especially considering it is a grad class and most people have matured from their more juvenile days.

Maybe it is the feeling of being a new TA. I am really excited about it. I want to get kids interested in what I am interested in. I want them to see the beauty in my field. The absolute romance that has me enamoured. I know I sound stupid. Believe me, that is how I feel about it. I love the smell of a new graduate student. He/she is vulnerable to influence. It takes a smart comment or a quick observation or a clever fart to get them to believe. And in that I see both my power and my responsibility.

I don't really know if I am making sense. I spent the last hour on a discourse on the beauty of studying intelligence. On why the human brain is the next frontier. I surprised myself with my own opinions. On how what I believed is immune to my stupour. It reinforces my belief in the fact that I am doing the right thing. That research is what I was cut out for and it was the reason I am here.

Don't I have all the characteristics of a romantic fool? Of someone so caught up in his work that he ignores all the problems. I love it though. I think being high is liberating in this sense.

TArture!

2005-08-26T20:30:00.000-04:00

Friday, August 26th, marked my debut as a Teaching Assistant (TA) for the course, Principles of Chemical Engineering. This is an introductory course for budding chemical engineers. I went into the class feeling a little queasy, since this would be my first one-on-one interaction with sophomores. My main fear was that I'd get stuck with a wiseass who would unnerve me. My one hope was to have at least a couple of cute females. A dedicated teacher does deserve a bit of eye-candy, right? Back in India, I heard stories that glorified the perks of being a TA. Let's just say that I will not be able to contribute to TA lore. I've got the wiseass, so you could expect comments which decry teaching as the bane of grad students.

The time slot is just about perfect: Friday afternoon, 2pm-3pm. Nothing is as eye-catching as a pair of drooping eyelids. It makes you want to laugh, and question your abilities as a pedagogue at the same time. All I can say is that I shall be glad to see the backs of the students at the end of this semester. The countdown begins...

On Music Videos

2005-08-25T14:45:00.000-04:00

A conversation while watching the latest Jesika Pimpson video, "Boots are meant for walking":

G1: What category of music does this come under? Country, Rock ... Pop ...

G2: Porn.

On ridiculous apparel

2005-08-25T13:59:00.000-04:00

I normally don't blog (i.e., when I do blog!) during the daytime, since that's when I'm supposed to justify the money that's spent on me on a monthly basis. Today, however, is a glorious exception. My advisor is out of town and will continue to remain in that state until early next week.

Anyway, what inspired this post is a pant/pajama that I saw one of the undergrad females in our lab wearing today. In fact, she just walked out of the door and the act triggered a mental impulse in me. The observation that I made is not a new one. I have witnessed it several times on campus, and yet, it never ceases to tickle me. This is what I am referring to: pants/pajamas with stuff written boldly across the posterior. More often than not, the text comprises three Roman/Greek letters (e.g., "Kappa Alpha Theta", in the alphabetical form) that signify the sorority that the wearer belongs to. I have also seen "Illinois" splayed across the same region. Call me conservative, but I consider the proximity of the University logo to the amply proportioned derriere demeaning, to say the very least. As far as the sorority logo is concerned, they can print it in any darned place they want! If it were up to me, I would have asked the apparel manufacturers to print "Beta Upsilon Tau Tau". No harm in labelling body parts!

Brave New World

2005-08-18T18:08:00.000-04:00

After 5 years of stalling I finally did it. Managed to take some time off my busy ... bah! Who am I kidding?

I got off my lazy butt and finally made it to the GYM.

What was it like?

Well for starters I went, "Hubba Hubba Hubba!!!", everytime a PYT walked by. I was literally dumb struck. It was like I had unrestricted access to the Raleigh's supply of beautiful women! Absolutely surreal. Why did I wait for a year after getting to NC State to get to the GYM? Well, I have been kicking myself for the last 24 hours. So don't ask.

Here's a scenario involving me a dumbbell and a (dumb?) belle:

S:"...5,6,7,..."

Blonde walks by.

S:"...58,59,60,...".

He he he!

Man, these people work hard on their fitness. They easily out run the best of us and the women lift more than any of us guys can. It'll take a long long long time to get there. Walking in to the "Weights Room" is like reliving one of my dad's worst experiences. It involved a bunch of guys losing the TUG-o-WAR to a group of Punju gals from a nearby hostel. This is several times worse. Your ego takes quite a beating everytime a delicate little thing suddenly bench presses 150 lbs and you are left struggling with a 20lb dumbbell.

However, I've been feeling real great off late. Something tells me the hair has something to do with it. Gone one week and I am suddenly TAing my first class. That would in a way also explain why I am suddenly rushing to the GYM.

And you know what? ECE has got to suck the worst!! We are cursed!! I am doing one class each in the ECE, CS, Psychology and Math Departments. I walked to the ECE class with the same sense of fate as a Sauravda fan before his idol walks up to the crease. Hoping for a miracle, always prepared for the impending disappointment. So what happened? Well lets say Sauravda edged one. The women in my ECE class look like they just hit puberty. None of them look older than 15.

Every other class had its fair share of the fairer sex. Thank God for inter-disciplinary research!!

And damn ECE!

Mangal Pandey - The Rising

2005-08-18T01:00:00.000-04:00

It was Aamir Khan's release after Lagaan, after 3 years... it was one of the most meticulously researched roles... it was also the most eagerly awaited... it built up on everyone's minds... released on Independence Day weekend... and from what I hear, recovered the money spent in 3 days...

And my opinion... it sucked bigtime...

The most entertaning parts of the whole 3 hour experience were a Salaam Namaste (to be released on Sep 9th) trailer in the interval and an item song which I'm not really sure was needed but it definitely brought me out of my half-asleep state when it started going lesbian (if you know what I mean ;))...

I'm not gonna rate it on a 10 scale as I usually do... considering how big a letdown this was, it would probably go negative. If you really wanna know more, this is the place to go to...

- RM

The Ashes burn again!

2005-08-16T08:48:00.000-04:00

If you ever told an American that Aus and Eng played the most amazing game of cricket for 5 days, it was immensely exciting, a match that would be remembered for a long, long time, that the tension in the final overs was "as thick as a hippo's hide" (to quote Sidhu!), am sure you'll get him interested... Till you tell him that it ended in a draw... That nobody won... That they all just shook their hands and went their separate ways...

He'd say it's the craziest thing he's ever heard... And to tell you the truth, I don't blame him... But then, you had to watch the match to realize that the fact that the possibility of a draw existed is what made the match so exciting... The thrill of the last 4 overs could not have been replicated if the last wicket didn't have to just play out 24 balls to salvage a draw...

The final day had everything... Lee was perhaps out but not given... Martyn was not out but given... Flintoff and Jones bowled their heart out... Catches were dropped and retaken on the rebound... And Ponting played the knock of his life... A very gritty 156... It wasn't perfect by any standards... He was beaten... He played and missed... But he stuck on... An effort that will always be remembered... Stuck on till there were 24 more balls to face... Then he gloved a ball to the keeper and it was for Lee and McGrath to save the day...

I just can't help drawing a parallel with the Indian team... With that test match against Pakistan in Chennai where Sachin almost got us there... And got out with 17 more runs to make... And the last 4 Indian wickets could manage just 4... It's a knock he's never given due credit for... An effort that's maligned by the fact that he didn't finish the job... Because the last 4 of our batsmen couldn't score 17 runs...

Imagine Sachin doing exactly what Ponting did... Bhajji giving him company and Nehra walks in as Sachin Tendulkar gets out... 5th ball that Nehra faces, edged to 2nd slip... I really can't see an Indian last wicket lasting 4 overs... India loses... And hell breaks lose... Everyone talks about how Sachin choked... How the ball was going down the leg side, there was no need to hook it, he could have just ducked under it...

But no one will say that about Ricky now... Because Lee and McGrath stuck on... Because cricket is a team game and one man can't do everything... It's the difference between winning and losing... Between losing and salvaging a draw... One man can lead the way but the others have to at least follow... the Australians showed how it's done... if only team India learnt its lesson...

- RM

Gone

2005-08-12T18:59:00.000-04:00

I woke up today absolutely aware of the impending change.

It is 7pm now and I have recovered enough to be able to talk about it.

In the shower today I experienced what one would call the Phantom Hair Experience.

It was like they were there.

But they aren't.

Head banging will never be the same again. Oh!

It is like two people with sledgehammers coordinated a strike on either side of my head.

The experience itself was like someone was shearing a sheep ... a very big sheep.

Anyway, the upside is now I have a name. I am no longer a look alike. They've christened me the "Lockless Monster"!

Yipee!

Phonetic Chinese

2005-08-10T01:34:00.000-04:00

Chinese is supposedly a pictorial language. I'm guessing that it's probably quite phonetic as well. An oriental restaurant near our place serves something called "Moo-goo Soup". One of my friends ordered it the other day and it couldn't have been just a coincidence that when asked how it tasted, the reply was "bullshit"... :D

- RM

Mr.S

2005-08-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

I just found out that a teacher of mine from class 2-4, Mr. Sequeira passed away. I am not sure what happened but I really felt sad about this. Mr.Sequeira was my English Teacher back then and I have some really fond memories of him. In particular I remember how my aunt and Mr.S never got along. This thin, gaunt old man some how unnerved my good old aunt and the two of them invariably fought everytime she came to drop off lunch, without ever speaking a word. It was sheer comedy. My fondest memory from Mr.S was from 3rd standard. We had just returned from P.T and everyone was yelling their lungs out. Mr. Sequeira walked into the class and everyone went quiet. I still remember sitting there in my green and black Pettigrew house t-shirt. He bellowed, "All you little scoundrels who were making noise stand up and come to the front of the class!". Of the class of about 40+ students about 10 went up. Mr.S reached for his cane and then dutifully proceeded to cane the rest of the class. Well, I was one of those caned and that lesson in honesty has lived with me. Sometimes teachers leave such profound influences that it lasts you your life time. This is one such teacher. I have always regretted not being around more at Cottons. I always will treasure my 6 years there and I'll always remember those fine men and women.

In memoriam.

God bless.

Red vs. Blue

2005-08-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

For all you vetti folks with broadband:

Red vs. Blue

Came across it while reading the NY Times. It is a fun concept. People make stuff called machinema which are movies shot in a game environment. Basically, make up dialogues and stuff. It is fun. If you aren't familiar with HALO, it is a popular game on the XBox and involves shooting up a bunch of aliens. You also have team games where a bunch of people can control their characters over a network. These guys used that to make there short movies. They are funny really. Good time pass. Hope you like 'em.

Priz(e) catch

2005-08-06T10:26:00.000-04:00

A Russian submarine, the Priz, with a crew of 7, is currently stranded at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, just off the Kamchatka Peninsula. The reason stated at first was that the propeller of the sub had got entangled in a fishing net, thus making it probably the largest marine catch in history. How believable do you think this reason is? While reading the article in the New York Times, I kept musing on the insanity of it all. And lo! The true culprit was later revealed by the Russians ; it was a military antenna on the sea bed which had cast its tentacles on the propeller and rendered it inoperable. The purpose of the antenna: to monitor American activities in the region. In a twist for which fate is well known, the rescue attempt is being spearheaded by U.S. and British personnel.

More than haiku

2005-08-06T00:06:00.000-04:00

Keats, Shelly and Byron
Ali, Frazer and Tyson
Cannot compare
To my despair
What a poetic situation.

-----------------------------

Life's a drag
If you ain't a fag
The single man
Is nothing more than
an "also ran"

-----------------------------

Something's Wrong
With this monstrosity in a thong
It looks like a gong
And lo! It's a bong!

------------------------------

Misra the poet
Will set off a riot
When he reads our piece
He'll rip our fleece
But we won't bow
This too is poetry, you know
The art of rhyme
Is not your's or mine
However, one last line
Misra, we too are asinine

-----------------------------

I'm drunk but I'm not stupid
Neither am I a target of cupid's
The point of the post
Is to play a charming host
And hope my attempt to vent
Will be rewarded with comments.

------------------------------
Sanketh (Drunk) and Nitish (not stupid)

Work Music

2005-08-05T00:30:00.000-04:00

Nothing beats Led Zeppelin at 12:20am in an empty grad office, when you've just finished compiling the longest presentation without any pictures or diagrams! (Irony of ironies ... the presentation is about Human Vision .. muwahahahahahaha!)

(Yeah! I know that's a difficult set of parameters to beat.)

Led Zepp has been my favorite work music for a long long time now. I was just jumping around to "Heartbreaker" and am now groovin' (ha ha) to "Babe I'm gonna leave you".

"That's when it's callin' me
I said that's when it's callin' me back home..."

So that's my favorite.
What's yours?

(As a friend of mine would say ... "Comment whoring in progress" ...)

Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V

2005-08-04T01:15:00.000-04:00

I had come across Riot by Shashi Tharoor in one of the bookshops the other day and picked it up out of curiosity. I kinda like his non-fictional writings and wanted to see what this attempt at fiction was like. Have been reading it for the past couple of days and yesternight I came across a passage that seemed very familiar. One of the characters, Lakshman, is discussing his religion with an American woman and explains why he is proud of being a Hindu. He talks about how Hinduism is perhaps the only religion in the world which accepts that there are more than one ways to God, that you needn't be a Hindu to achieve salvation, there are no pagans or kafirs. And how all those fanatics, those Hindu extremists completely ignore this tolerance that is inherent in Hinduism.

It's a well written passage, and that's probably why I remembered it. I'm pretty sure that a similar idea was expressed in another of Tharoor's books, India - From Midnight to Millenium and that's where I read it first. I'm gonna try to get my hands on a copy to confirm this... though really, I wouldn't be surprised if the passage in Riot is a complete copy with even the words unchanged.

I know there's nothing wrong here... if an author chooses to take lines from one of his own writings and put them somewhere else, it's upto him. But for some reason that I can't place a finger on, this seemed very weird to me. And kinda reduced the value of the words...

Surely a copy-paste isn't the way to do it...

- RM

Circle of Life

2005-08-03T05:47:00.000-04:00

Now that everyone has been deafened by our silence... well, you need not worry... you don't need your ears to read!!

Anyways, not much has been happening over here... no movies for a while now, so nothing to review. This weekend I think saw 3 Bollywood releases but I wasn't in town. Had gone over to Manipal (man, does it rain there or what?!!) to drop Rachita (my sister) off. She's gotten admitted to an architecture course over there... there aren't many in our generation who know what they want to do after school... she on the other hand made up her mind almost 5 years back. I can still remember her getting mad at me for getting myself a Comps dual... it kinda washed away her "you construct the roads and I'll design the houses" plan down the drain... ha ha, it took me a while to convince her that we could still combine to make smart homes!!

Mom and Dad had both come over, so for a chhut little period, the 4 of us were together again. Now of course, it's back to the realities of the world. Sis had her first classes today, I'm back on my desk coding and Mom and Dad got back to Allahabad today morning. I saw them off at the airport yesterday and on my way back in the auto, I couldn't help but wonder how they'd feel when they got back to an empty house... when the feeling sank in that after almost 25 years, henceforth everytime they enter the door, there would be no sound of the T.V. blaring through at double the normal volume, no pow-pow of computer games, no Ronan Keating crooning or Pink Floyd jamming...

"Circle of life", isn't that what the song called it? I guess, in a way, the circle is now complete. The younglings of the Misra household have flown away to find their way in the world... and Mom and Dad can sure be proud of having taught us how to fly...

To all the parents in this world... ^:)^

- RM

The Universe is trying to talk to us ...

2005-07-27T16:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Leno! And today a Fortune Cookie:

"If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't!"

... this, in a fortune cookie my friend Kris (who is working on the same "How do we do it" project as I am) got at the Chinese Place at Lunch today.

Hats off!!

2005-07-27T07:53:00.000-04:00

In the end, it's incidents like this one that help you keep the faith... hats off to you guys.

- RM

Damn you Leno

2005-07-26T23:44:00.000-04:00

"In Rwanda (I think), the goverment is funding girls who get through college as virgins. Guys who finish college as virgins, of course, get as usual, an Engineering Degree."

-- Jay Leno (Tonight)

Dumbledore and the Prince

2005-07-21T04:27:00.000-04:00

This one discusses Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, so if you haven't read it and don't wanna know... or are one of those who couldn't care less... don't proceed...

---

Dumbledore had to die in book 6, everyone knew that. In every coming-of-age story, the mentor has to be removed for the hero to fully realize his potential. Obi-Wan and Yoda move on in Star Wars, Gandalf never returns to Frodo's quest after falling off the bridge... It just had to happen, the finishing line simply has to be crossed alone.

What is a much more interesting point is the fact that Snape killed Dumbledore. Inspite of protests from almost every character in the story, Dumbledore had always fully trusted Snape for reasons that were never revealed. This book tells us something about the utter remorse Snape felt at having sided with the Dark Lord but it seems too chhut a reason for that unwavering trust Dumbledore had... Surely there's something more we haven't heard yet... Seriously, if a two line explanation is all we're gonna get as an answer to the five-books-old "why Dumbledore trusts Snape" question... Are you kidding me, Ms. Rowling?!!

In fact the way I see it, we still haven't been given an explanation yet. Harry's been quick to jump to the conclusion that it was Snape's expression of guilt that made Dumbledore side with him... But Dumbledore never really said it. In their final conversation on this subject after the Trelawney revelation, Harry asks him, "How can you be sure Snape's on our side?" and the reply comes after a moment, "I am sure. I trust Snape completely." The reason is never given...

And so there definitely has to be more to this story. In fact, I was discussing this with a friend yesterday and arrived at this very interesting theory that perhaps it's all part of Dumbledore's plan. The question it all boils down to is this... How important is it to keep your spy within the Death Eater's group... Make sure that everyone there trusts him unquestionably... That the Dark Lord holds him above all else... And is it worth Dumbledore giving his life over?

Assume for a moment that Snape is actually a spy for Dumbledore. In the second chapter of this book, we find out that although Snape is accepted as a Death Eater by the Dark Lord, most of the other members of the gang don't trust him. In such a position, how much of a help can Snape be? We already know that Voldemort rarely confides in anyone... And so with the Death Eaters apprehensive of his motives, Snape won't really be getting any information to leak. Of course, add on top of all that the fact that he can't roam around with Death Eaters coz he's supposed to be at Hogwarts. Now imagine if Snape's standing could be improved to make him the star of all Death Eaters, someone all of them trusted, someone Voldemort rewarded above all others, won't that be a huge chink on Voldemort's armour? Isn't inside information something the Order desperately needs with Harry's mind connection also gone now? Think about it, the Death Eaters kill so many people in this book (Muggles or otherwise), wreck major havoc but the Order or the Ministry Aurors never know beforehand... Isn't getting someone on the inside really, really important? Important enough for Dumbledore to give the ultimate sacrifice?

We already know Dumbledore has never been afraid to die... He stands up to duel with Voldemort, goes on trips alone to find Holcruxes, willingly drinks liquids that would surely kill him to get 1/7th of Voldemort's soul... And all through this book, he's had an "I'm an old man, I don't matter much" attitude. If he considered this important enough, he might just have thought up his own death to achieve it. After all, think of the number of innocent lives that could be saved if the Order knew of every Dark plan... To give up his own life to save others is something he'd really be willing to do... Like he shouted incomprehensibly after he drank the potion guarding the Holcrux, "Don't hurt them, don't hurt them, please, please, it's my fault, hurt me instead..." And who knows how this might even help Harry in his quest... Maybe Dumbledore places Snape there just to help Harry in the climax of the story.

Coming to the actual plot of assassinating Dumbledore... The Headmaster always knew Malfoy was trying to kill him, he explained it in detail in the final scene... He also knew that Snape had taken the Unbreakable Vow to protect Malfoy, Harry overheard that. Dumbledore definitely is smart enough to put the two together and if he still trusted Snape, there has to be a reason... There are just too many loose ends here.

There is one more observation that I'd like to make... The fact that Dumbledore was pleading with Snape just before he was killed. C'mon man, this is the guy who said, "To the well organized mind, death is the next great adventure"... who has always maintained that there are worse things than pain and death... who stood in front of a wand-drawn Malfoy asking him with utmost curiosity, even praising him for how he had let the Death Eaters in... who started a calm round of introductions as he faced 4 Death Eaters unarmed... And then suddenly Snape turns up and Dumbledore starts pleading? It's so out of character that I just can't believe there isn't more behind it... Even if it finally dawns on him at that moment that Snape's tricked him all along, Dumbledore's reaction would have been a smile of acceptance, he won't have started pleading for his life. Which makes me wonder whether it wasn't just an act, a final touch to ensure that Snape's place as the champion Death Eater was cemented... In any case... If he was pleading, was he pleading for Snape to stop or Snape to go ahead and fulfill the Unbreakable Vow... Because Snape himself as a spy was more important than Dumbledore...

In the end, I guess it's another couple of years wait to find out where the story goes... But if I was J.K. Rowling, this is the kind of road I would make the storyline take... Like the song of the Phoenix, the wail of the Mermen and the arrows of the Centaurs, it would be a fitting tribute to the character that is Albus Dumbledore.

- RM

C(h)oke

2005-07-16T17:50:00.000-04:00

For this particular piece I think I should make it clear that I am an inactive AID member and a Coke loyalist. AID lost my vote with all the bickering they had on the e-group. They got too political for my taste. And Coke, well, is in my blood. Seriously. I've been drinking an average of 300ml everyday for the last 10 years. I can't stand Pepsi and only drink it when it is free or if a Coke machine isn't in a 1 mile radius.

Anyway, in a recent news letter AID sent me this link: Coke Lawsuit.

The article refers to a lawsuit filed by the Coco Cola Company against this photographer dude. Now this dude is supposed to be one of the top photographers in the country (I shall plead ignorance). That doesn't matter though. What does matter is Coke is actually bothered by this piece of work.

I think it reflects on a sense of guilt. What I like about the piece is that it highlights a problem in an extremely creative light. I feel it is highly relevant and frankly quite educational. I had no idea Coke plants did this to communities in the vicinity. I think it is a shame. Quite frankly it is. Come on! I can't believe families are going without water so that we could drink an overrated beverage. Oh come on! This is the pits.

Our country's best lawyers should take up Mr.Haksar's case. This is unjust.

If Coke is worried about its image it should get the message instead and look for solutions and support water conservation in places where it has plants. I remember a lesson we had in Principles of Management. It had to do with ethics. It dealt with principles over profits. Something tells me this is a chapter the moguls at Coke skipped.

Spread the news people. If this case goes ahead we ought to do something about Coke.

Wedding Crashers: Pauper Review

2005-07-16T00:13:00.000-04:00

Here's one movie to watch with your buddies. Really funny movie. Jokes and situations are crass and juvenile but it really makes for awesome Friday night entertainment. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn have an awesome dynamic and they really make it work. I for one thoroughly enjoyed it. We had the theather laughing almost through out the movie.

I am not going to analyze any aspect of the movie simply because it isn't meant to be. This isn't running for any Oscar. It may win a few MTv Movie Awards and considering the movies I have watched this summer it stands a real good chance.

Take your closest buddies along. Leave all your sensibilities and inhibitions behind and just let the laughter out. Easily one of the more funny movies I have seen off late.

4 and one half-full Beer Mugs!

Watch!

PS: There are 2 big desi men with beards at NC State and I happen to be the less popular one. I've had guys driving up in cars and going "Hey Raahu...", before realizing I ain't the guy. I thought losing the beard or rather reducing it to a goatee (go ahead take some time out and laugh) ... back? ... ok ... or rather reducing it to a goatee would make things better. Boy! Was I ever wrong. I have nothing against "Raahu .." but I am getting close to having an identity crisis. No way bro. I have decided to go into hiding now. Good bye cruel world!

Straight off the TV

2005-07-15T22:17:00.000-04:00

Spent a lot of time stuck to the tube in the past few days... and it's crazy the kind of stuff that's on. First of all, there seem to be God-knows-how-many news channels... let's see... NDTV 24x7, NDTV Profit (which claims to be a business news channel but there's hardly any business ever on it), Star News, Zee News, India TV, Aaj Tak, Headlines Today... and these are just the English ones... I've probably even missed a couple! And each one of them keeps repeating the same thing over and over again.

Yesterday, all of them kept showing a bunch of crazy people on 'violent protests' against Salman Khan's new movie. Why the hullabaloo?? Simply because the Hindustan Times chose to launch its Mumbai edition by doing an expose revealing an audio tape of a conversation between Aishwarya Rai and a very drunk Salman Khan. The dude kept on bragging about how he had these huge underworld connections, how Chhota Shakeel is like his elder bro and how he was the one who had the inside info about the Mumbai blasts and not Sanjay Dutt. Lots of such shit.

And so the violent protests happened, the fact that the police haven't confirmed that the voice is actually Salman's notwithstanding. And someone really needs to tell me, even if it's his... what's going on rampage in a movie hall gonna do?! And c'mon, people blabber when they're drunk, everyone knows that... recently after getting high, one of my friends (Pushpendra Thakur alias Thax) told me that I had cut off his legs (more on that here), that doesn't mean the police should arrest me!

Anyways, another show that's become a hit is 'Fame Gurukul'... primetime 8 pm slot every weekday on Sony. Basically one of those spinoffs from Americon Idol (we've already had an Indian Idol, the dude who got chosen is now everywhere, from billboards to ads to song videos)... this one's about a group of 12 people who live in a modern Gurukul practising their thing, getting help from everyone short of a marriage counsellor (one of the guys has been hitting on the ladies bigtime!) and then performing every Friday. They sing well and all but the show's a tearfest... one contestant cries coz he misses his parents, another cries coz someone else got immunity, one more because he faced hardships in his childhood... and then when one of them is asked to leave, all 12 contestants cry alongwith the 3 gurus and the 2 show hosts. I'm talking major tears here... of course all the emotion doesn't satisfy the sponsors, so one of the hosts in the middle of all the crying pulls out a camera-phone and says, "I'd like to capture this moment using my LG 6130 camera phone"... jeez!!

Moving on... the Infosys board was on a talkshow recently and it was real neat to see now-in-B-school batchmates in the audience. Burra, Therian, Bhadauria (maybe there were others too, I only tuned in towards the end of the show) were all sitting there, expressions varying from "oh, I'm so interested" to "yaaaawwwnnn!!"... It was quite cool and I'm really looking forward to seeing someone I personally know sitting on the other side of the room, this time getting interviewed. I'm sure it won't be long.

- RM

Bassics

2005-07-14T19:21:00.000-04:00

Can play:

1) A basic Blues progression.
2) That haunting Alavandhan (forgive my Tamil) tune.
3) The first 10 notes of the Sabbath Song ..."Black Sabbath".

Quite thrilled with myself. Am currently trying to work out how on earth I am going to move my fingers to play A(1-1-1-4-6-7-8) part of "Iron Man".

Adventures with the bass continue.

All Apologies

2005-07-12T20:03:00.000-04:00

Dr. Manmohan Singh makes a speech.
The BJP is up in arms demanding an apology.

There was a time I really respected the BJP and considered them to be a viable alternative to the Congress. I was never a fan of the Hindutva thing but I accepted the fact they'd never really have the mandate to implement squat. One of the reasons they appealed to me was how they conducted business in the Opposition. They had many sane voices and I remember them knowing when to rally behind the government and when to ask the right questions. You should pardon any flawed analysis here but this is just what my perspective, of politics in 90s, is.

Anyway, whatever your opinions are one thing was for sure, there never was desperation in their protests. They were usually on something that was debatable and mundane. Now a days I suddenly see a loss in that confidence and that spunk that defined the party in the 90s. They sound desperate. It is like the last election knocked the wind out of them. They are resorting to stupid publicity and trying to evoke more communal passion. It is almost like they didn't get the message. We've been divided and ruled over long enough. People are getting smart to this. They give a fuck whether they build that temple or not. We have a million more. It is almost pathetic to watch them wrestle over ghosts of the past. Jinnah , Ayodhya and what not. It is not just the speech you know. They way they handled the Ayodhya attacks and made stupid claims about security lapses. Some went so far as to ask all Muslims in Ayodhya to leave. What a load of crap! That is the problem with them. They just don't have a realistic perspective of the country. I agree that you need to lack that skill to be anyway involved in Indian politics these days. However, these guys are really pushing it.

I almost feel sad. This was a party I once believed would do us some good. Anything but the Congress. I never liked the Congress with their dynasty and all that jazz.

This PM is different though. He is smart. I like him. He is someone I can identify with. He talks sense (many of you will dispute how that is anyway related to me ... but just humor me for now). He seems more concerned about governance than politics. He does the smart thing. He is respectful of the Gandhi clan and at the same time steers clear of any of the day to day ass kissing that goes on at 10 Janpath. Some have problems with how Sonia Gandhi treats him or rather how obeisant he is to her. I say we have bigger problems and this guy seems to be doing something about them.

You guys should read the speech. It is really nicely put and I don't see how you can take anything out of context. It is a balanced outlook at the British Empire and its influence on us. Look at where he was speaking. And just see how humble a man he is. It is nice to see some class in charge for a change.

The BJP really needs to do some soul searching. People have grown smart to their brand of "hate". They really need to start addressing the ISSUES. Not beat around the bush and debate on whether Modi should campaign. I say get rid of that sicko. Get sane. Start rebuilding.

I like this PM but it doesn't mean I want the Congress around any longer than they do.

PS: Some tell the Left to cock up.

Hurricane Loonies

2005-07-11T21:05:00.000-04:00

Since when is weather interesting?

Bush bhaiya couldn't ask for a better distraction! Of the 1 hour of news that we get now-a-days 64 minutes are dedicated to Hurricane Dennis.

Oooooo Wind!!
Oooooo Wind and Rain!!

CNN:"In breaking news, Hurricane Dennis just brought down the Ramada Inn sign on I95! With the latest here is Jumping Jack Flash ... Jack!"

JJF:"Hey Uptight Bitch! This is absolutely fascinating. We've had 100 miles/hr winds and wonder of wonders the sign actually blew off! Man, it was some sight. If we could move the camera over here ... there! Do you see it? Debris. Who would've thunk? We did expect the sign to fall down but didn't anticipate it breaking into such small pieces. Our simulations by Dr.Peterman at the Institute for Trivial Research didn't hold up. The hurricane is that unpredictable! Uptight Bitch!"

CNN:"Thank you Jack. That was our latest from the Ramada Inn sign on I95. We now turn to more interesting developments on US245. Our roving reporter TalksInACondescendingTone Cooper is out there covering the latest ..."

Man!

The top three news stories:

Hurricane Dennis
Missing Teen in Aruba
What's up with Tom Cruise? An in depth look at Scientology.

Fcuk!

JJF:"Uptight Bitch, 90% of the town's population has moved to higher ground! In the remaining 10% we have : 22 Fox news reporters, 32 CNN reporters, 1 NBC, 2 CBS, A goat and 6 egomaniacs named Dennis!"

Fcuk!

Who do you believe?

2005-07-11T20:35:00.000-04:00

One story.
Two reports.

They couldn't be more different.

Outlook (and I am guessing the rest of the main stream media) vs. The Milli Gazette.

Who do you believe?

(BTW, sitting here in Raleigh I get very little inputs about the Imrana case. I'd count on you guys to point me to better sources.)

And continuing my free publicity for Outlook ... do read Dilip's article on the Uniform Civil Code. All I can say is that, it is one issue I realized I was totally biased about. I guess it makes sense to get the facts before we debate. Read up people.

And here's KPS Gill's opinion on the reactions to the London and Ayodhya attacks.

(No! Outlook isn't paying me for this.)

Rewind 1971

2005-07-11T19:47:00.000-04:00

There is a lovely collection of transcripts from the famed Nixon Tapes concerning the instability in erstwhile East Pakistan. There are a few parts where Nixon and Kissinger are kind of rude in their description of Indians and Indira Gandhi. However, I think that isn't what we should be looking at. The transcripts make great reading and you really get a look into what how global diplomacy (or the lack of it) works. In addition to this, the transcripts give good insight into the American perception of Indian policy. It also highlights the misunderstanding and mistrust that ideology brings.

The entire transcript is really long. Take some time out and read it. I really enjoyed reading them though I wished at times the speakers were more clear. There is some discontinuity in the text and this may be annoying. I'd still recommend this read.

Outlook is hosting the transcripts. You'll do well to look up their latest cover story on Rural Inventors. It is an enjoyable read.

(You may need to register at Outlook to read this. That is worth the time IMHO.)

Working Hours

2005-07-11T06:08:00.000-04:00

ICICI Bank -
Monday to Saturday, 8 am to 8 pm

Indian Overseas Bank -
Mon to Friday, 10 am to 3 pm
Saturday, 10 am to 12 pm

What the heck?!

- RM

And why the bass?

2005-07-10T23:23:00.000-04:00

2 Words :Fewer Strings.

The Deed is done ...

2005-07-08T17:54:00.000-04:00

... a new Bass Guitar is on its way!

AirBassPlayerMan your days are numbered.

I know I am no redneck ...

2005-07-08T17:06:00.000-04:00

... but how can someone not absolutely love "Sweet Home Alabama". That Lynyrd Skynyrd anthem. Wo! I have it on my mac right now and it the most played song on my system.

I know it isn't important. Still I thought I should share this with you chaps. Especially considering I have written much over the last few days.

While I am at it I should ask you guys to check out the guitar on "Free Bird" by the same band. Awesome. The intro I hear is one of the toughest to pick up.

Listen up and let me know how it goes.

Trivial Truism 2

2005-07-05T21:48:00.000-04:00

They are all babes.

--SS

Bloggers for Euphemisms -- The Chomsky Request

2005-07-05T20:13:00.000-04:00

Dear Dr.Chomsky,

On a recent trip to Harvard I purchased a copy of your book, "Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance". I must admit it has been a fascinating read this far and I have only fallen asleep thrice while reading the first thirty pages. Most of my reading was done on the flights I was on over the last 6 months. It is on the most recent trip to Ohio that I realized why off late I have been a prime target for "random" body searches. I initially assumed it had to do with my beard and so I promptly shaved. That didn't stop them. The only other thing I could think off as offensive was the book I was carrying around on all my trips. You guessed right!

It also explained the weird looks I am used to getting from my fellow passengers or why a certain lady looked at me like she was casting a hex. Dr. Chomsky there is no way a brown man (with or without a beard) can walk around an American airport with one of your oh-so-aptly-titled books. Please do consider your adoring brown demographic while thinking up a title for your next book. Airport body searches aren't that comfortable you know. You should try getting one. They are free!

Thank you.
Your Chocolate-skinned-big-boned-friend,
SS

Bollywood Review - Sarkar

2005-07-04T03:42:00.000-04:00

It's been raining everyday here, the tennis courts are waterlogged and so my evenings now open a variety of possibilities. Yesterday, I decided to spend it watching Sarkar. Now, everyone who's even remotely interested knows (thanks to the huge publicity campaign) that this is based on The Godfather. And as the opening credits rolled with the voice of a raped girl's father pleading for justice, that much was clear enough. I just settled down in my seat hoping Bollywood hasn't done a senseless remake.

In about 15 minutes, as the story moved forward incredibly fast-paced, all my fears were laid to rest... I began to realize that this was an intelligent adaptation. Ram Gopal Verma has walked the tightrope of keeping the basic fabric intact while at the same time adding the originality required for an Indian setting. Don Corleone's aura, Michael's transition and his subsequent ruthlessness, all are brought out but with very different plot devices. In particular, modifying the eldest son's character is a stroke of genius and makes for slicker storytelling. Backing this with his trademark direction, there is hardly a wrong step taken. Every scene carries the story forward, not an inch of film is wasted and the movie ends exactly where it should have, another 3 seconds would have ruined the moment.

Of course, none of this would be possible if the actors didn't do their bit... and let me just say that the reason Bollywood hasn't adapted The Godfather till now is because there has been no Amitabh Bachchan to play the title role. He is absolutely brilliant here, it just couldn't have been done better. Junior Bachchan too, except for one scene where I thought he hammed big time, is quite good. The rest of the cast (with the exception of Katrina Kaif) gives decent support but who am I kidding, if this had to work, the Bachchans had to carry it... and they do that.

There are no songs, the background score reminded me of Company in parts but it seemed to fit in. Overall, well, if you haven't seen The Godfather, if you haven't read the book (like most of India I guess) this is gonna blow you away. If you have, it still is a very good ride. I belong to the latter category, 7/10 is my score.

- RM

Always look on the Bright Side of Life

2005-07-03T18:16:00.000-04:00

Last Fall my advisor put in this bonus question in our Computer Vision Exam:

What's the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

The answer of course is : What do you mean, an African or European Swallow?
(For more ...)

Well, right after the exam I ended up watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which I must say I thoroughly enjoyed. I've long been a John Cleese fan (esp. after watching a Fish Called Wanda). I never knew about his involvement in Monty Python though.

The bottom line is it is something I love and right now I am catching a Monty Python's Flying Circus marathon on BBC America.

I also happen to be aware of Spamalot, a theatrical adaptation of the Holy Grail. I'd love to watch it some day.

This post however is to link you guys up to a more interesting video. In 1989 Graham Chapman, one of the original cast on MP died. At his funeral service John Cleese delivered this memorable eulogy (link1) (link2). This really reflects on how absolutely insane these guys are and how humor really can make death look less morbid.

I must say Graham Chapman was one lucky bastard. I wish someone would do this at my funeral. I really do.

And while you are at it you should download that song they sing in the end. It is available in the album version of Spamalot.

---

The video isn't the complete speech so here is the text in case you want it:

"Graham Chapman, co-author of the 'Parrot Sketch,' is no more.

He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky, and I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, such capability and kindness, of such intelligence should now be so suddenly spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun.

Well, I feel that I should say, "Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard! I hope he fries. "

And the reason I think I should say this is, he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. I could hear him whispering in my ear last night as I was writing this:

"Alright, Cleese, you're very proud of being the first person to ever say 'shit' on television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to be the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'!"

You see, the trouble is, I can't. If he were here with me now I would probably have the courage, because he always emboldened me. But the truth is, I lack his balls, his splendid defiance. And so I'll have to content myself instead with saying 'Betty Mardsen...'

But Bolder and less inhibited spirits than me follow today. Jones and Idle, Gilliam and Palin. Heaven knows what the next hour will bring in Graham's name. Trousers Dropping, blasphemers on pogo sticks, spectacular displays of high-speed farting, synchronised incest. One of the four is planning to stuff a dead ocelot and a 1922 Remington typewriter up his own arse to the sound of the second movement of Elgar's cello concerto. And that's in the first half.

Because you see, Gray would have wanted it this way. Really. Anything for him but mindless good taste. And that's what I'll always remember about him---apart, of course, from his Olympian extravagance. He was the prince of bad taste. He loved to shock. In fact, Gray, more than anyone I knew, embodied and symbolised all that was most offensive and juvenile in Monty Python. And his delight in shocking people led him on to greater and greater feats. I like to think of him as the pioneering beacon that beat the path along which fainter spirits could follow.

Some memories. I remember writing the undertaker speech with him, and him suggesting the punch line, 'All right, we'll eat her, but if you feel bad about it afterwards, we'll dig a grave and you can throw up into it.' I remember discovering in 1969, when we wrote every day at the flat where Connie Booth and I lived, that he'd recently discovered the game of printing four-letter words on neat little squares of paper, and then quietly placing them at strategic points around our flat, forcing Connie and me into frantic last minute paper chases whenever we were expecting important guests.

I remember him at BBC parties crawling around on all fours, rubbing himself affectionately against the legs of gray-suited executives, and delicately nibbling the more appetizing female calves. Mrs. Eric Morecambe remembers that too.

I remember his being invited to speak at the Oxford union, and entering the chamber dressed as a carrot---a full length orange tapering costume with a large, bright green sprig as a hat----and then, when his turn came to speak, refusing to do so. He just stood there, literally speechless, for twenty minutes, smiling beatifically. The only time in world history that a totally silent man has succeeded in inciting a riot.

I remember Graham receiving a Sun newspaper TV award from Reggie Maudling. Who else! And taking the trophy falling to the ground and crawling all the way back to his table, screaming loudly, as loudly as he could. And if you remember Gray, that was very loud indeed.

It is magnificent, isn't it? You see, the thing about shock... is not that it upsets some people, I think; I think that it gives others a momentary joy of liberation, as we realised in that instant that the social rules that constrict our lives so terribly are not actually very important.

Well, Gray can't do that for us anymore. He's gone. He is an ex-Chapman. All we have of him now is our memories. But it will be some time before they fade."

Trivial Truism

2005-07-03T18:00:00.000-04:00

"We have the largest harem west of the equator."

--Sanketh and Don

"No wait. I am not sharing it."

-- Don

"Ok, then I'll take the harem west of the equator and you take the one east."

--Sanketh

"You be happy with the west and dont venture into the east. Thats my territory,my gals,I dont want you pissing around here."

--Don

"Deal!"

--Sanketh

Public Service Announcement

2005-07-03T00:09:00.000-04:00

......

Save $5.50-$9.00 today!

Don't watch War of the Worlds. It is puke-inducingly horrid. It is almost like somewhere along the movie Spielberg gave up and decided to let Tom Cruise direct.

Horrible! Horrible! Horrible!

Save your money! Save your money!

Mr.Spielberg I want my money back!!!

I give it as many "Suppandis" as humanly possible.

Be right back ... I am not done puking.

When Gods Unite

2005-07-02T20:09:00.000-04:00

It was magic. Just to see Waters,Mason,Wright and Gilmour on stage was sheer joy. They played Breathe, Money, Wish You Were Here and Comfortably Numb. Absolutely awesome. I still am grinning. I just can't believe what their music does to me.

The Live 8 concert was good. I didn't catch most of it. It really evoked mixed emotions. While I was really glad the artists took initiative to get the message out, I was kind of amazed this was really needed. The fact that people can be so ignorant about what's going on around them. I still think there is no such thing as an absolute solution to poverty because poverty by itself is relative. What I do hope it puts an end to is apathy. I think that's something that ought to be addressed. Apathy, I feel, on the scales that we see today, is without precedent. We are so involved in our lives that we refuse to care about people less privileged. We are so comfortable in our little cocoon that we fail to realize that one day we'd have to face these problems head on. Postponing them isn't helping.

I feel the War in Iraq and the War on Terror is a huge distraction from more real problems. Problems that are more universal. Problems that most people of privilege refuse to acknowledge. I think we in India are a tad bit more fortunate because we've lived a more "real" life. We've seen the grim side of things and we realize there is much joy in sharing than there is in hoarding all that we have. I see around me a very aware and young Indian generation. Its My Generation. We have to realize we are the threshold of power and what we do over the next few decades will shape the future of millions. It makes me real proud when I see my friends take initiatives . They reflect on the side of my generation that knows the need to share, that understands where its roots are and what its values are.

Poverty is a small word with big consequences. Some have the strength to strive and rise from it to make their lives worthwhile. Others need to draw strength from people who are willing to share. I feel this is where we come in. I'll willingly admit I've lived a comfortable life. The problems I often wrestle with seem trivial when compared to those of a hungry soul. There is no greater sin than making a person go hungry. Especially when we have both the resources and the means to ensure they don't. All we need is the will.

What good is all the gold in the world if it can't feed a hungry person? I am perhaps getting carried away here but I somehow feel we've lived long enough in apathy. It is about time we became more proactive.

The Live 8 concert was start. Some are skeptical of how much it really achieved. In my opinion, the fact that people were motivated to take a stand and spread the word is heartening. No one knows how things will turn out. This isn't about Africa or Asia. It is about every hungry person out there. Hunger knows no boundaries. Neither should compassion and humanity.

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be

-- Breathe, Pink Floyd.

-><-

2005-06-29T19:01:00.000-04:00

YEAR 2

Bring it on!!!!

The Whole Indianapolis Ruckus

2005-06-29T12:55:00.000-04:00

I've been watching the whole Indianapolis grand prix ruckus with a lot of interest. And contrary to what a lot of people have been saying, I don't think the FIA is to blame at all. For once, I thought Mosley was prefectly right in choosing not to add that chicane and thumping all those charges against the teams which did that parade lap and then went into the pits.

The facts as I understand them are simple. Seven of the ten teams are supplied tyres by Michelin whose engineers majorly bungled up while designing the tyres for this race. And Ralph Schumacher had to have quite a stupendous crash to make them realize that one of turns was screwing up the tyres so bad that there were safety issues involved. It is important to note here that Bridgestone tyres (and therefore Ferrari, Jordan and Minardi cars) were responding perfectly to the track. Michelin tried getting in alternate tyres but they were screwed up too. And so the seven teams were left with tyres which would probably blow up at the infamous turn 13 unless they slowed down a bit. These teams therefore got together and said, "Hey, why should we be the only people who slow down... let's add an extra chicane in there so that everyone has to go slow." The FIA refused to add the chicane and told 'em they could either go slow at the turn or use the pitlane (which has a speed limit) or keep changing tyres (which wastes time). But no, our Michelin driven teams wanted to ensure that the other teams slowed down too... and since there demands were not met, they did a nice little parade lap, decided to use the 7-3 Michelin outnumbers Bridgestone to their advantage and boycotted the race.

Someone please explain this logic to me... you bring screwed up tyres... it's totally your fault... why the hell should everyone suffer for it?! Adding the extra chicane doesn't make the race more fair, it makes it grossly unfair to those teams who have no problems with the circuit. Everyone knows what the circuit was like... you're the ones who screwed up while doing your simulations, you pay the price!! When the Ferrari put their old car out for 2005 (which ended up being outrun by almost every other car) I didn't see the other teams saying... "oh, your engineers haven't don't their homework and given you a good enough engine... we'll slow down for you, we won't drive to our maximum capacity!"

Some people will blame the new no-tyre-changes-unless-it-gets-dangerous rule... I remember a few years ago, they introduced heavier balls at Wimbledon to make the game slower, I don't remember Sampras boycotting it. As the rules change, you change too... in any case tyre companies have no problems making tyres last... they just have problems making fast tyres last... it's a tradeoff between speed and durability and it's up to the tyre companies to determine where to draw the line. Michelin screwed up at Indianapolis, Bridgeston didn't... shouldn't the cars that drive on Michelin accept it and pay the price?

If the conditions don't seem to work for you, you've got equipment that can't perform as well as the others, you live with it and try and get the best out of what you have. Minardi and Jordan have crappy engines that compared to other cars give them horrible straightline speed. I don't see them putting up a ruckus asking the straight stretches to be changed to turns coz the other teams have an advantage.

I wonder what would have happened if there was a problem with just the tyres of one or two teams. Would they have boycotted and if they did, would people have given them this much importance? It's just coz these teams had 14 of the 20 cars that they decided to show their clout... don't you see a Microsoft like mentality here? We've got most of the computers using our OS, we should try bending the laws a little!

So who basically loses out here... well, obviously the fans... who had come to see a race but instead saw 14 cars standing still. I agree, the Michelin cars wouldn't have been much of a match for the Ferraris... but with Minardi finishing the race 2 laps behind the race leader, Alonso, Kimi and the like might have given them a run for their money... or maybe even the Jordans. Everyone knows in F1, it's not just about who's at the top... the fiercest battles are often for the later spots. Giving the fans the pleasure of watching that would have been the right thing to do, the sporting thing to do... instead of crying out foul when there was none!

The latest is that Michelin has offered to shell some money out (which is a nice gesture) and refund the tickets of all those who came to watch the GP. And the FIA has ruled against the 7 teams on a couple of the charges (I don't quite understand how they're innocent on a few of the other ones!) that had been levelled against them. We won't know what the penalty is until September. This race has given Ferrari a new lease of life and they might be back in the reckoning now. They probably don't mind this cakewalk at Indianapolis but you can't really take anything away from them, they're just reaping in the benefits of sticking with Bridgestone! And if it comes to that, the other teams will pay the price for not fighting for the 4th-10th position points. It definitely might become real hot now on the points table... and man, it will really be total drama if in September, the teams are poised really close and the FIA decides to put in point penalties against the teams who were adjudged guilty at Indianapolis! If that happens, as far as I'm concerned, these 7 teams will still have only themselves to blame. And of course, Michelin!!

- RM

I'm back... with a review!

2005-06-26T04:58:00.000-04:00

Hi, I'm back... with what should be a chhut post... coz Paheli doesn't deserve much. There were basically three things that made the movie intolerable

1> First of all it had Shahrukh Khan in a double role... I mean, c'mon, even one is hard to tolerate!! To make it weirder, one of them was actually a ghost... and both versions had moustaches... ok, ok, so if you base a movie in Rajasthan, you need to give the heroes hair on the lip... but this wasn't like a tiger or a lion moustache... it was a lowly goat kind... (you'd better understand the animal references if you've read 'A Pair of Moustachios' by Mulk Raj Anand (I think) from the '98 ICSE English textbook)

2> The ghost was fully functional... wasn't just an apparition or a figment of imagination... it didn't have backward facing feet, one could see it in the mirror and it was even ticklish. On top of all that, it even made the heroine (played by Rani Mukherjee in case someone's interested) pregnant... which of course proves that all the internal biological functions of the ghost were working fine as well. Alongwith all that, it could do the normal ghost magical stuff too which made me feel quite lowly... I mean, a ghost isn't supposed to be better than a real person... there must be some cool things that we can do because of which we're better... if not, well, let's all just commit suicide and become ghosts!!

3> The end was a crappy and very unsatisfying Alladin meets Hatim-Tai.

Umm... 2/10 I guess... and I'm being very lenient!

- RM

Angst of the Musically Challenged (this means you too Cherry) & other issues

2005-06-26T03:18:00.000-04:00

One of the reasons the Wonder Years is so dear to me is because there were a few episodes which I could totally relate to. This one episode in particular where Kevin gives up on piano classes and later really regrets it, has stuck with me. The only difference in my case is that I played the synthesizer. The storyline was pretty much parallel and sometimes I wished I watched that episode a tad bit earlier. But then "Hey" that is life! You can't expect God to know what the TV Guide has planned for next year! Even HE isn't THAT perceptive.

So the story goes, I picked up the synthesizer. I played a few Bollywood tunes. And then I lost it. Dad's attempt to inculcate some appreciation for the finer things in life fell flat. Ironically, one of the first tunes I picked up was "Papa Kehthe hain ...".

About 8-9 years have passed since. In the process I have at regular intervals expressed an interest in picking up the guitar, drums and the bass in chronological order. The desire to pick up the guitar stemmed from sheer jealousy. The others were the product of more creative drives. The drums had the appeal simply because most drummers were really big men and seemed to be tone deaf to a great extent ... like me. The idea of venting my frustration on some leather seemed rather appealing. A senior of mine who is also a pretender tried looking for classes in Bangalore. We mutually avoided each other for the rest of the time I was in the city.

Another friend of mine recently picked up the bass. Now the bass is a sound that appeals to me. I don't really know what it is about it. I still don't know what a riff is. I don't even know if I am spelling it right. Still there is this appeal which I can't seem to explain. Anyhow, on a recent visit to Ohio I did meet up with this dude and he played "Ironman" for me (I think). I was hooked. The thoughts of buying an i-Pod went right out of the window. I HAD TO GET ME ONE OF THOSE!!! Ofcourse, DingleBerry my financial advisor persona (yes I do have MPD, if that wasn't obvious already!) was gracious enough to remind me of how I still tugged at Daddy-o's purse strings. So that idea went scurrying along trying to catch up with the "i-Pod thought".

The real sign from the Universe did come when on the same trip I somehow managed to scam a poor Indian Casino of $245.50. The Universe liked the idea. The bass was my instrument. My calling. I absolutely refused to buy my cousin's version of the Universe trying to pay for my text books. I feverishly searched the internet for a good bass. I soon came to realize how relative a term "good" is and how you have a different "good" depending on what your budget is. I called in favors! Asked my friend to look stuff up. He narrowed it down to this beautiful Ibanez bass and one from Yamaha. He quite wisely left the decision to me.

I have always said if making decisions were my cup of tea I'd be at B-school ... in England.

After days of debating and nights of ... well ... sleeping, I decided not to decide. I decided it was an issue better left unaddressed. I am in this phase of life where I have screwed up enough to know myself a little better. Everytime I tried talking myself into buying the bass my "Save-me-from-laughing-at-the-idea-in-x-months" persona kept butting in, reminding me how I would regret it in a few months. Of how suddenly the i-Pod would look like a good idea. Buy the i-Pod, Buy the i-Pod ... Buy it! It insisted. It was when it added "Powered by Mac OSX" I realized how a part of me had sold out! That was inevitable I guess. I've been bashing Windows all along and I guess Apple was the only other company I could sell my soul to. I resisted this temptation however. I wouldn't take the bite.

So here I am now (these are thoughts from an hour ago). A month down the road. Laying back and playing the Air Bass. It is a good instrument. You need no practice and you can hit the same notes while playing totally different Air Strings. It is a strain though. Your head is the amplifier and that gets tiring after a while. And you can't block the world out. That is a huge huge problem.

My hands ache to hold a bass. I can't tell you how much. How much I want to just block all the shit around me and just be with myself ... at least for a while. How much I want to make a mess of revered Sabbath and Cream numbers. How much I want to learn and show some kind of achievement for the two years at NC State.

So much that it hurts.

I've always thought musicians are really blessed souls. They should never stop thanking God/good genes/pushy parents/peer pressure. Like someone once said .. Music is the soundtrack of life. It helps if you can write some of your own. Guys like me can only look in from the outside. Hoping we could one day be where you are. No matter how far we get in life. No matter what problems we solve or what cars we can stack up in our garage, we'll still want to be like you. We'll still want to be part of the sounds of music. You have something special and something we can't have. We will always crave to control the chords and the rhythm and the beat. There will always be a tinge of jealously. Not only because chicks dig you (BIG FACTOR) but also because we can't stop ourselves from thinking ... what if!

Damn musicians.

Anyway.

So if you are planning on ... lets say buying me a gift for no reason ... you could surprise me with a bass.

Other issues ...

Watched Batman Begins. Christopher Nolan does an awesome job. The movie is good. Christian Bale is decent.

I also couldn't help but notice that Katie Holmes talks with this twitch. And she prefers one side of her mouth to another. I don't really know why. I have some wicked notions about it having to do with Tom Cruise's anatomy. I shall save that thought for later.

I went to Sammy's Tap and Grill recently. I must recommend Bacardi 151. Totally awesome. It not only is potent, after 3 pegs the waitress goes "You are tough". That feels good. It may result in unreasonable tips. But what the heck!

Whose line is it anyways ... aaaaaaargh!

2005-06-22T16:18:00.000-04:00

How tough is it to type the word "FRIEND"? Seriously!

What on earth are "fren","frens","frenz" ... and other variants!

I first caught sight of this when some of my juniors were painting posters for the department. I just didn't get what the word meant. I thought they misspelt it. They told me it is "how we groove now". I let it pass. Thought of it as an anomaly. Quirk of that wacky lot.

Turns out it isn't.

I see its use so much now, it makes me mad. Every yoodle-who-can-doodle is using it. It took me years to get over the "anyways"!!! And you know what .. now "anyways" is legitimate. The "Protect the English Language" people caved in. I ask which moron is in charge there!

Dear buddy boys and buddy girls, I know I am not asking for a lot. Please don't let this "fren"-wen thing catch on. Give people the eye. Whoop their ass. Do what you must. Just don't make it legitimate.

I don't want to feel old ... yet.

Chris Mattews Day!

2005-06-20T12:47:00.000-04:00

I've been watching some TV off late and everyone on TV seems to be celebrating something or the other. CNN celebrated 25 years on television and then Larry King suddenly realized he has been on for 20 of them. Soon we had Larry King celebrating. Not to be out done MSNBC decided they needed a cause to celebrate. And considering they aren't on any significant number themselves they decided Chris "ha" Mattews ought to celebrate his ... 8 years on the air!

8 years? Seriously? What anniversary is that?

And to acknowledge this we had Hillary Clinton on the air yesterday reading the Top 8 reasons why you should watch HardBall with Chris Mattews. Man! I suddenly felt sorry for good ole Bill and a sudden rush of empathy started filling me.

I switched channels.

The TAG syndrome

2005-06-17T08:52:00.000-04:00

I've been called by many names... but Cherry's "Rahul (the Mishra variant)" sure is a new one... anyways, on the assumption that I'm the one being referred to (and also because I have another hour to kill here at the New Delhi Station (Thank God for this Sify outlet)), I'm gonna go ahead and step into the TAG game...

Before anything else, Cherry, I'm the 'Misra' variant... without the 'h' in the surname!

To proceed...

Total number of books I own:
My library in Bangalore has come up to around 25 I think in the past year... if I start to include the ones back home, I think the BITSian slang hajaar (which basically is anything between 2 and infinite) covers it!

Last book I bought:
Booked the 6th version of Harry Potter for sis... but that only gets delivered in a month, so dunno whether it counts. Before that was H2G2 for a friend's b'day... I guess technically that doesn't count either. The one that totally fits the bill would probably be 'Chokher Bali' by Tagore translated to English by some lady. Hey, wait, are magazines included?? If so, I bought a copy of The Outlook a few hours back.

Last book I read:
The above mentioned 'Chokher Bali'... didn't like it that much... maybe it lost its charm in the translation or something... but I ain't ever gonna learn Bengali, so I guess this was as close as I'd ever get! If short stories are included here, 'The Last Question' by Asimov is the one... quite neat... my roomies have been quite taken in by the "Cosmic AC" fund... for some reason, it's always easier to find solace in crazy sci-fi explanations about things that be.

Currently reading:
'A House for Mr. Biswas' by V.S. Naipaul... am only about 10 pages in... read in the plane before I fell asleep. No, no, it's got nothing to do with the writing... I just find a plane ride very sleep inducing.

Books that have had an impact on me:
Hmm... overall, there are so many that I can't even remember them all... which brings me to the fact that if I can't remember them, they must not have had that much of an impact! Anyways, to name a few recent ones... 'The Alchemist' would be high up on the list... "maktub" is a brilliant word to hide behind! You might say I took the wrong lesson out of the book... but we're talking about impact on me, not you! Also, amongst the recent ones, I loved 'Tuesdays With Morrie' and 'City of Joy'.

People I TAG:
You (if you haven't been 'it' yet!)

- RM

PS
Heading back home... so might not blog for a while... all you guys take care and I'll see you soon!

To Sade

2005-06-15T07:42:00.000-04:00

I didn't really know this guy when on campus. For the first three years, he was just a familiar face, I guess at max we would have exchanged a few smiles. I knew him as the guy who went to Microsoft with Mathur, that's it. Then with comps CDCs, I came to recognize him as one stud who was cracking everything sometimes without even meaning to. An opinion that got confirmed when I heard of his ToC compre score. I guess sitting on the same benches, we exchanged a few words, got to know each other a little bit. And then an odd wind somehow brought us together and we became roomies in the big, bad city of Bangalore.

It's been a year now... But to tell you the truth, it does seem a lot more than that. Purple Haze sessions and Parikrama concerts... Movies and F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Seinfeld on his laptop... Innumerable visits to PVR and Rex and Symphony and Innovative before that... Gen sitting around putting lachha... Kharcha paani accounts on my cell phone that he hacked into... Trips to Hampi and Ooty where he photographed flies with his cam... Weekly visits to Landmarks... Telling him which books are worth reading... His saying "I'm gonna Lord of the Rings" for the zillionth time... His demanding a poem for every occasion... Scouting around looking at houses calling the same broker twice... Waking up to see our slippers floating around in 6 inches of water... His obsession with tea... "Kya Misra, tum chai nahi peete"... (I wonder if he'd have wanted to share a flat with me in Bang if he knew that beforehand!!)... Watching him work on his SOP like crazy... Sleeping with the papers by his pillow... Chatting on YM... "dinner at home?"... The discussions on Steve Waugh and Sachin Tendulkar... Watching the Aus Open final at Amoeba... Following F1 with total enthu... Catching Cover Story every night till they pulled it off...

It's all mixed up... The memories above don't follow a particular timeline... Perhaps, it’s befitting... Memories after all are timeless... Sade, buddy, all the best... Crack the show at Rochester... And do remember that chameleon shoe. When you make the prototype, you'll need an experienced one like me to test it!

See you in 2007... Doing the Reggae in Trinidad!! I might have written those poems by then!

- RM

Parineeta

2005-06-15T03:11:00.000-04:00

When you make a movie out of a very famous Sarat Chandra novel, you know you have a story that's been a hit for generations. But then, if you start to think about it, there aren't that many movies that have done justice to the writing. I haven't read Parineeta, so I don't really know, but I'd like to think that the novel was done justice to here... coz this was a movie I kinda liked.

(For the record, I thought Devdas was quite crappy!)

The first thing I have to talk about is the music of the movie... I hadn't heard the songs before but 20 seconds into the opener dhinak-dhinak, I could see there was something surprisingly different here. The tunes are very melodious, so much so that I hummed the piyu-bole song all the way back, was humming it when I woke up today and the first thing I've done after getting back here is to search for it on the net. Kudos to Moitra, the music really complements the movie.

The story is well, very Sarat Chandra. Set in the 60s in Calcutta, it moves with Shekhar who is (somewhat like Devdas) a tumultuous young man brought up under the very strong influence of his father. Lolita, an orphan who lives across the street, has been his childhood friend… and the third character in this triangle is Girish, a rich guy just back from London. Through devious plans and files peeked into, through the pangs of love and jealousy, through things said and those left unspoken, the story moves forward in an interplay that though not something we haven't seen before is still quite captivating for most part.

The movie (probably like the book) is very high on symbolism and this is one of the main reasons I liked it… Shekhar's transformation is reflected by the way he stands near the staircase like his father calling the servant to take off his coat… there's lots of other such chhut stuff… the chowkidaar striking a match as Shekhar storms out of Lolita's place... how his restlessness comes out in the music he plays… and finally, the "Tagore ki hai, stupid!" (this would be my favourite dialogue) which shows the flow of the movie come full circle… the action at the end too was metaphorical but it was very overstated… the director kinda lost it there.

The acting, well, Saif Ali Khan (Shekhar) proved himself with this one. He's never been better in a serious role. With his stint in and after DCH, we know he's got comic timing, here he proves he has the versatility and I think we can count him in as another one of the Bollywood Khans now. Casting Vidya Balan as Lolita was a total coup. She acts very well for a newcomer, fits the role prefectly and all through the movie I was thankful someone like Aishwarya wasn't chosen to play the part. These two basically carry the movie on their shoulders with the others giving reasonable support. Sanjay Dutt seemed a slight misfit as Girish though and Diya Mirza was positively yuck!

Overall, I'd give it a 7.5/10. This one was worth it.

- RM

Sound familiar?

2005-06-14T16:44:00.000-04:00

"In the second century of the Christian era, the empire of
Rome comprehended the fairest part of the earth, and the most
civilized portion of mankind. The frontiers of that extensive
monarchy were guarded by ancient renown and disciplined valor.
The gentle but powerful influence of laws and manners had
gradually cemented the union of the provinces. Their peaceful
inhabitants enjoyed and abused the advantages of wealth and
luxury. The image of a free constitution was preserved with
decent reverence: the Roman senate appeared to possess the
sovereign authority, and devolved on the emperors all the
executive powers of government."

Draw any parallels?

2 millennia on and we still seem stuck!

The book .. "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" by Gibbon.

Hmm ..

Thoughts in the shower

2005-06-14T16:00:00.000-04:00

First things first. For your own good don't go visual while reading the post.
Secondly, no offense meant. If you feel offended feel free to add 5 points to the "self-righteousness plan". 500 points earn you that coveted trip to heaven.

I have mentioned before that there is something about that 10x10 feet of space that suddenly brings out a unique side of me. A side that seems to trigger only in the confines of a room with a shower head. Anyway, today this occurred to me.

What if the Gods are really just musicians and the different religions their respective fan clubs?

There are really cool parallels here.

Christianity for example is definitely the Pop Music of all world religions. The Protestants are just big fans of boy bands ... NSync (with JC n everything) in particular and Catholics are just absolutely devoted to Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears (a. women b. at some point of time have made claims of not having lost their ____). They have their share of Michael Jacksons (aka men of the cloth). I just can't fit the Pope into this anywhere.

Our Muslim brethren in the current view of the world are the equivalent of rappers. With the vitriol and everything. Lost, confused and blaming everyone else for their problems. And curiously just like the rappers they absolutely hate NSync and people who listen to them.

We good ole Hindus are definitely the Rock n Roll. We have been around for as long as anyone can remember. Most of us don't understand what it is all about. We follow it anyway because everyone else in our immediate neighbourhood does. The chosen few who understand it keep telling the others how absolutely "radically superawesome" God really is. Totally rock n roll. For the curious ones Buddhism is to Hinduism what Pink Floyd is to rock n roll. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Most of you will find this post a tad bit incomplete but then there is only so much time I spend in the shower.

Make any sense?

Nah?

Oh well!

Start of Andale

2005-06-14T11:38:00.000-04:00

Must be some crazy coincidence... but the day I've finished my seminar and started considering myself an ex-BITSian is the day I've finally decided where I'm going.

I've received a formal offer from Andale Inc (the company I'm interning in) and I'm taking it.

- RM

End of BITS

2005-06-14T08:35:00.000-04:00

Just gave my final seminar... the last BITSian component... it's over.

Goodbye green doors, yellow walls, new libraries, crapping pigeons, mess benches, too-hot-or-too-cold rooms, surprise tests, OB compres, SUB, 2214, ANC, c'not, PS diaries, crazy instructors, seminars in formals... Goodbye all of you...

"Purani jeans"... "Slot hai na"... "Main milkman banoonga"... "Because I say so"... Through mails and in person... Through messenger chats and blogs... For real and in memories... My friends are still with me... And I guess that means that for the things that matter, it's not really goodbye...

Thank God.

- RM

There and back again

2005-06-11T02:18:00.000-04:00

There are days I wake up to a world suddenly unfamiliar. One that I had tackled with panache the day before suddenly seems a distant memory. My mind races ahead and simulates what my future would be like and suddenly I am confronted with a web of confusion. What DO I want to do with my life? Sometimes I feel like there is this invisible hand writing the story of my life. Something I can't control. And then there are days I feel that hand is mine. That I control everything I do and every breath I take.

But then there are days like this.

There was a time when my future was chalked out clean. I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. I had the answer to the inevitable question that required you to be clairvoyant. I knew almost everything there was to know. And then I chose another path.

Why?

I won't deny that Frost's poem instilled in me a romantic ideal. Why take the oft walked road? Why not do something novel, unique, unheard of ... stupid ... ! Why take a road that everyone is only so happy to take? Explore ... LIVE LIFE.

But then ... there are days like this.

When I see myself at the crossroads again. When I wish I chose different. When the romantic in me panics and the coward in me speaks up.

What if?

What if life isn't always about being different. What if you decide on one crossroad too early. What if ... you are wrong?

It is on days like this that I am thankful for who I am. Sure of who I am. I realize that questioning your choices only makes you more sure of them. That there is little sense in going through life living someone else's story. It is better to write your own.

It is on days like this that I am thankful Frost wrote the poem. For if anything drives me it is knowing that I dare.

Pithy, he was British

2005-06-09T15:39:00.000-04:00

The story goes that in 1843, after annexing the Indian province of Sind, British General Sir Charles Napier sent home a one word telegram, "Peccavi" implying "I have Sind." Although apocryphal, it's still a great story.

-- From A Word A Day.

This is a great list to subscribe to. Highly recommended.

The fan that runs forever!

2005-06-08T06:44:00.000-04:00

We really need to get the electrician to pay our house a visit. Two of the tubelight hook ups don't work, one of the fans is all burnt up (it's been 5 months!) and another fan has recently started making such a loud creaking sound when it runs that it's impossible to sleep under it. Within the next 15 days, I'm sure something else will screw up too... And like always, we'll make kaam-chalaau alternate arrangements.

I know, you'll say that we're lazy. But we like to think that we're not... And this is how we justify it. For 5 days of the week, we work so hard (typing a blog is also work, especially when I use vi!!) that there is no time for one of us to stay back home and get the electrician to fix the stuff. During the weekends, c'mon, those are the only days we can have some fun, you expect us to waste them on an electrician visit?! It doesn't matter that we walk past the electrician's shop everyday, there are too many important things on our minds, it's too difficult to remember at that very moment that there's a mundane household chore to attend to... Like I told you, we're not lazy... Just a little forgetful!

So, we've tried to find our way past the hassles... One of the tubelights, we don't need it... At another place, we've put in a bulb... And we've stopped using the room with the screwed up fan... But the biggest problem is that creaking thingie right in the room where we sleep. One of the regular visitors to our place, Balu, says that the creaking means that the fan is about to fall. Now this caused great concern, especially for me since I sleep directly under it, till Ankit put in a torque related Phy funda and said that it will probably fall on someone towards the side. I have no idea whether that's right or not but I sleep a lot easier since then! The ones who sleep on the side probably don't believe Ankit... or perhaps they just don't believe Balu... Ignorance (or even faulty knowledge) is bliss!!

So, for now, the system in place is this... About 4 days back, my magic fingers, after about 15 attempts, were able to get the fan to run without creaking. Now, we have no idea why the fan suddenly stopped shouting at us (maybe it was because no one was listening!!) but since we're too afraid to shut it off in case it starts that awful sound again, we make sure the fan is just not switched off ever. Remember Chandler and Joey in that we've-got-porn episode?!

Though I wonder... What if the power goes off??!

- RM

Infected

2005-06-08T01:29:00.000-04:00

Captain's Log 6/8/2005

We lost one of our finest today. A true champion. Inspiration to many. He fell protecting our kind from the enemy.

We clearly underestimated the enemy's technical prowess. We had accounted for any chances of infection via e-mail/orkut but had totally ignored the possibility of phone calls! Damn Reliance!

At 0120 hrs EST the infection was complete. We can now confirm the casualty. The last recorded message from the Bro. Nitish Nair read:

oh man! what a dame!

An IIT - Delhi chick. Hmm .. who would've thunk!

Single men everywhere mourn this loss.

Sob!

Just noticed the irony

2005-06-07T17:58:00.000-04:00

"It's not as simple as ur mind thinks, man... its AI!"

-- My Dear Friend, Sade (in the recent past)

End of K2's mail

2005-06-06T18:12:00.000-04:00

My computer is possessed by the Daemon.

:)

AI in a shoe

2005-06-06T01:36:00.000-04:00

Adidas has come up with this shoe which has a chip inside... I know it's been out for a while now but now Forum has been blessed with 'em. And so, sometime last month, I went and checked out what the fuss was all about. Marched right in and told the salesman I wanted to try it on. He gave me quite the "have you even seen 12.5K" look but I didn't budge. And in the end, got to walk around in a very ugly gold-and-silver coloured shoe. It was comfy and all, but who'll ever buy something that looked like that?! I wouldn't... even if I could afford it!

Anyways, so the latest idea to come out of this experience is to build a shoe that senses the colour of your pants and changes it's colour according to it. Now, that's the kinda stuff research should be put into!! So it has been decided that Sade is going to direct all his efforts in this direction during his stint at Rochester.

Of course, his SOP had indicated that he wanted to pursue a future in AI because he wanted to fix the Google translator. But we have kinda come to the conclusion that we like the Google translator the way it is!!

After all, Aishwarya's mom is nice and cool!

- RM

PS
In case, you don't know (where have you been??!) about this Google translator bug... Use this to translate "Aishwarya's mom is nice and cool" to Spanish and translate the translated text back to English. The result is... well, OH MY GOD!

Beer Brain

2005-06-05T18:02:00.000-04:00

A warm sunny afternoon ...

A cold tall can of Heineken by my side ...

All desis in the final four of the National Spelling Bee ...

Peeking at "The Thinking Eye,The Seeing Brain", every now and then ...

God! I love Sundays.

P.S.: I've been debating on what deo to buy. I was a major AXE loyalist, till TAG went along and made that awesome ad with the fake warning. A day away from my trip to the grocery, with my mind all made up and AXE hits back with an awwwwesome ad. Damn those Ad Agencies. (links soon)

People I'd like to meet

2005-06-04T23:54:00.000-04:00

1) The genius who thought it'd be a good idea to cast Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four ...

... As INVISIBLE WOMAN!

Vocablunder

2005-06-04T21:34:00.000-04:00

This has to be heard to be believed. We are quite aware that Guantanamo Bay has been kicked around in the mud of late. In response to Amnesty International condemning Gitmo Bay (what a loving nickname!) as "a gulag of our times", this is what George Bush had to say:

"It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of any allegations by people who were held in detention, people who hate America...disassembled. That means not to tell the truth."

Well, someone needs to study the GRE wordlist! The interested reader can view the concerned video clip at the Comedy Central website. It was part of a Daily Show episode which was titled, "The Sunshine Boys". While typing this piece, I noticed that Guantanamo Bay and George Bush share the same initials; then again, I'm sure that it isn't by design.

But what of ...

2005-06-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

... Shireen.

(Honest to God that was the first name that came to mind when I saw the previous post about the French dame.)

Suddenly at 11 in the morning today I was staring at a pretty French face. She's into the news they say. News, pretty chick ... Shireen. No one else!

While negotiating 5 extra minutes of sleep with my dad every single day, hoping to somehow tie together the ends of all the plots that populated my dream, there was a small part of me aching to wake up. The consequences of being late were not to be taken lightly. To be there in front of an aging Beltek or broken Akai to take in as much of Good Morning India as possible, was of highest priority. 20 odd minutes of entertainment before the dreary routine of school kicked in. More importantly 20 odd minutes of Shireen. Aah the innocence of it all. There was Madhuri Dixit and then there was Shireen.

Well, enough said. That, if you didn't notice, is my attempt to paint rather poignant picture of adolescent life. I suck at that and so I shall cut to the chase.

After quickly negotiating the pleas of my dear wingies to bring the French chick to NDTV (why?), I proceeded to rediscover my infatuation with our very on desi version. If Merisa. . Melisa ... (whatever) ... is the reason half of France knows there is a war in Iraq, then Shireen is the only reason ... well ... I dressed in front of the TV. Ok, lets not go there.

Googled.

Interesting notes: Did you know there are people who discuss News Channels and anchors on forums? And that there are losers who offer to put up pics of your favorite anchors! And did you know SHIREEN WAS NOT ONE OF THEIR FAVORITES.

The thing is she is probably the only one from that program whose name I remember. I mean I was surprised there when the net told me there was a co-anchor (Arup something). Still no pictures! And they say Google can find it all. If Aish has 17000 websites then this chick ought to have one at least. Oh the injustice! Oh! Oh!

After a lot of searching I finally ended with ONE just ONE picture of the dame.

Hmm .. did someone say .. What's the fuss about? My thoughts exactly. Let me first admit, she doesn't look the same inside my head.

She still is a pretty chick isn't she. Whatever you say, she made waking up at 6 worth it. She did.
er ...

You still are wondering what the fuss is about, aren't you.

Hmm ... er ...

Get Melissa Theuriau to NDTV!!

Back to the basics

2005-06-03T18:52:00.000-04:00

One advantage of living in America is that you're spared the agony associated with such Hindi movies as have already been profiled by our in-house film critic. I recently felt the urge to satisfy the microscopic Hindi-speaker inside me. Luckily, my roommate had a couple of movies in store, which he had purchased from Amazon. Luckier still, the movies turned out to be "Rangeela" and "Dil Chahta Hai".

I had seen "Rangeela" ages ago and was enthusiastic about refreshing my memory. I had almost forgotten what a convincing "tapori" Aamir Khan was. My favourite part of the movie happens at the end and shows the latter reclining on some barrels in the back of a truck. The devil-may-care attitude in that particular pose is just, well, devilishly delectable.

I saw DCH a couple of years back. This is probably downright blasphemy but at that time, I really didn't understand what all the fuss was about. It seemed like an average flick. Only during the second show, as it were, did I realise what a masterpiece it was. Akash's views on love, marriage and all that jazz might have been transplanted into his mind from mine. Of course, he ends up betraying the faith but that's not the issue. I suppose it's redundant to make the observation that DCH is definitely not your average Hindi romantic comedy, if such a genre even exists in Bollywood. Without belabouring the point further, I shall just say that I was floored by how natural the acting appeared. Oxymoronic but true!

Get Melissa Theuriau to NDTV

2005-06-03T01:40:00.000-04:00

A few of us have started the 'Get Melissa Theuriau to NDTV' campaign. Feel free to join!

- RM

The God of Small Things

2005-06-02T02:36:00.000-04:00

If I ever made a list of my favourite parts from amongst all of the books that I've read, the following passage will be right up there. If you haven't read 'The God of Small Things', you should... it may surprise you, it may not... it may shock you, it may not... you may not like it (a couple of my friends absolutely hate the way it ends)... but it will definitely be worth it...

Anyways, read on... found this book excerpt somewhere on the net...

__________________________________

Ammu had corrected the spelling mistakes, and below the essay had written: If I am Talking to somebody, you may interrupt me only if it is very urgent. When you do, please say, 'Excuse me'. I will punish you very severely if you disobey these instructions. Please complete your corrections.

Little Ammu.

Who never completed her corrections.

Who had to pack her bags and leave. Because she had no Locusts Stand I. Because Chacko said she had destroyed enough already.

Who came back to Ayemenem with asthma and a rattle in her chest that sounded like a faraway man shouting.

Estha never saw her like that.

Wild. Sick. Sad.
...

On that last visit, Ammu spent the morning with Rahel in her room. With the last of her meagre salary she had bought her daughter small presents wrapped in brown paper with coloured paper hearts pasted on. A pack of cigarette sweets, a tin Phantom pencil box and Paul Bunyan - A Junior Classics Illustrated comic. They were presents for a seven-year old; Rahel was nearly eleven. It was as though Ammu believed that if she refused to acknowledge the passage of time, if she willed it to stand still in the lives of her twins, it would. As though sheer willpower was enough to suspend her children's childhoods until she could afford to have them living with her. Then they could take up from where they left off. Start again from seven.
...

That whole morning Ammu talked incessantly. She asked Rahel questions, but never let her answer them. If Rahel tried to say something, Ammu would interrupt with a new thought or query. She seemed terrified of what adult thing her daughter might say and thaw Frozen Time. Fear made her garrulous. She kept it at bay with her babble.
...

Over lunch she belched like a truck driver and said, 'Excuse me', in a deep, unnatural voice. Rahel noticed that she had new, thick hairs in her eyebrows, long - like palps. Ammu smiled at the silence around the table as she picked fried emperor fish off the bone. She said that she felt like a road sign with birds shitting on her. She had an odd, feverish glitter in her eyes.

Mammachi asked her if she had been drinking and suggested that she visited Rahel as seldom as possible.

Ammu got up from the table and left without saying a word. Not even goodbye. 'Go and see her off,' Chacko said to Rahel.

Rahel pretended she hadn't heard him. She went on with her fish. She thought of the phlegm and nearly retched. She hated her mother then. Hated her.

She never saw her again.

Ammu died in a grimy room in the Bharat Lodge in Alleppey, where she had gone for a job interview as someone's secrectary. She died alone. With a noisy ceiling fan for company and no Estha to lie at the back of her and talk to her. She was thirty-one. Not old, not young, but a viable, die-able age.
...

The steel door of the incinerator went up and the muted hum of the eternal fire bacame a red roaring. The heat lunged out at them like a famished beast. Then Rahel's Ammu was fed to it. Her hair, her skin, her smile. Her voice. The way she used Kipling to love her children: We be of one blood, ye and I. Her good night kiss. The way she held their faces steady with one hand (squash-cheecked, fish-mouthed) while she parted and combed their hair with the other. The way she held knicker out for Rahel to climb into. Left leg, right leg. All this was fed into the beast, and it was satisfied.

She was their Ammu and their Baba and she had loved them Double.

The door of the furnace clanged shut. There were no tears.

The crematorium in-charge had gone down the road for a cup of tea and didn't come back for twenty minutes. That's how long Chacko and Rahel had to wait for the pink receipt that would entitle them to collect Ammu's remains. Her ashes. The grit from her bones. The teeth from her smile. The whole of her crammed into a little clay pot. Receipt No. Q498673.
_______________________________________

- RM

Bunty aur Babli

2005-06-02T02:19:00.000-04:00

It's time for another Bollywood review!

Well, Bunty aur Babli is a timepass movie... If you leave your brains out, you can even enjoy it. I did exactly that and had a bit of fun. It's very funny in some parts, at others it's very irritating... Like the whole deal with Rani Mukherjee (Babli) starting to cry every 15 minutes. Perhaps the movie suffers from a bit of identity crisis... It's not outright funny, one of the major characters changes track and makes it all seem very unbelievable, and it tries to be partly-sentimental also... Which kinda works if you're looking for a mish-mash. I didn't even know what I was looking for, so I didn't mind it.

Bunty (Abhishek Bachchan) and Babli are these small town chhokra-chhokri who in the first half-an-hour of the movie decide that the easiest way to make it big is to scam their way past people. And then spend almost the rest of the movie doing that. Junior B, I think does an above average job but that dude really needs to go beyond that one of these days and give us something exceptional. Rani, well, all I can remember is her crying... And though she's trying to do that typical-Bollywood-comedy-crying where the audience is supposed to laugh, I was just sitting there getting irritated. In fact, the comedy-crying gets me irritated everytime no matter who's doing it, I have absolutely no idea how it's come to become such an important part of Indian movies. The David Dhawan-Karisma Kapoor combination is probably to blame!

Big B (He deserves a separate para just coz he's Big B!!) playing the cop is okayish... Nothing special here... I don't think the story gave him that much to work with, he's hardly a main character in the movie making his first appearance a little before the interval. He gets drunk in one scene just for the heck of it and it's crappy... Nothing like the legendary talking-to-the-mirror in 'Amar, Akbar, Anthony'...

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy with the music, I thought the songs were kinda average. Though that didn't stop me from humming "dhadak-dhadak" all day. Their music usually has a hook (remember Dil Chahta hai?!) that you can latch onto and I think some part of my mind just got caught on somewhere. But this is the only song I remember or can hum... In any case, this movie didn't have very, many songs.

Overall, I'd give it a 6/10... With the very important disclaimer that I had left my brains out of the hall!

Oh, and favourite dialogue... Abhishek saying "illahabad ke hain" in pukki desi purabiya (eastern UP) accent... That was totally cool... Man, I can so imagine halls back home erupting when that dialogue was uttered. Especially when the Bachchan family is pretty much treated like the first family of Allahabad... The place where I learnt tennis is now called "Amitabh Bachchan Sports Complex"... What more can I say?!!

- RM

Night Out

2005-05-26T01:22:00.000-04:00

Aah .. the joys of a non-academic night out! I am traveling to Columbus Ohio to meet up with K2, and my cousin and her hubby. My flight is at 6:30 am and there is no chance in hell I'll make that flight if I slept anytime today. So here I am!

There is something about traveling I really don't like. I remember back in Pilani I never made any of the trips the department took. Always had some excuse or the other. I am not resistant to it anymore but I always have my pre-travel jitters. I sometimes feel I am better off just staying where I am. Sometimes I just feel like canceling. The rewards of this one are sweeter however. Meeting K2 after ages and I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to meeting guruji. And my cousin .. man. I haven't seen her since her wedding. The last time I saw her, she and Sid were running to catch their flight to Thailand. I am so glad I finally get to bond with them.

BTW, yesterday the blog did have some problems. I couldn't access it all day. Maybe all the traffic was a little too much to handle .. or maybe the servers at Blogger suddenly were sentient and decided to put an end to all the crap. Anyway, that has been taken care of .. much like any other glimmer of sentience on the rest of the planet.

Oh well .. the night is young and I am a bored old man .. so more posts right ahead!

Logic To Go

2005-05-26T01:14:00.000-04:00

Me: Hey, I ordered a Chicken BBQ Pizza today and well, I think I was overcharged.
PapaJohns: A Large?
Me: No a medium. Last time I ordered I was charged 12 bucks for a large pizza. You guys have charged me 15 for a medium. I guess there is some mistake here. (laughing!)
PJ: Oh .. no sir, we have a special on the Large ... the medium still is 15 dollars.
Me: What?
PJ: You heard me right sir.
Me: A medium costs more than a large? Ok .. let me say this out clear to you .. you tell me if I am making sense ... a medium pizza with the same toppings costs more than the large ..
PJ: Yes sir ... great offer isn't it ...
Me:

Rumours and other blah!

2005-05-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

There's this survey in the news these days that ranks BITS Pilani 15th (Yeah right!! I know we like to crib (perhaps justifiably (man, talk about nested parenthesis! (You think I'm coding too hard?!!)) so) but there's no way BITS is below some college in Patiala!) amongst Engg colleges in India. I didn't give it much thought at first but half the YM chats I seem to be having these days bring up this topic... I think people have run out of things to talk about... Maybe that's because they're talking too much!

I mean, consider the scenario these days... Almost everyone I know is online all day and there are so many ways to exchange what I call "blah-blah". First there are YM chats, then people are perennially logged on to orkut and on top of all that, you can of course also email! You don't need to open a news site, if there's anything worthwhile there (from pushed-up (you (here I go nested again!!) know what I mean!) Mallika at Cannes to "Sania's match is on!" to Sunil Dutt passing away), someone will forward the link to you. What this basically also means is that this is the perfect scenario for spreading rumours... Kinda like what happens in the stock markets when one of those black Tuesdays happen... News spreads (I think they call it "market sentiment" (jargon rules everywhere!)) and everyone just follows!

We BITSian anyways have always been top-notch as far as this rumour-spreading trait is concerned... The IC says Mech-Sol B will go at 130 (I made the grade at almost 25 below that!)... Parikrama is coming over for OASIS this time (Indian Ocean repeated!)... BOSM is cancelled (in your dreams!)... A PS station is paying 25K per month (that was a very legitimate April Fool's joke!)... The list is endless...

At least back then, people had to meet for the fire to spread... Now, it's just a BUZZ on messenger... Recently, a friend of mine (you know him, Sade, the tea drinking (you can read about that here! (Though why haven't you already gone through that rant?!)) champ!) overheard this discussion on an increase in IBM fresher recruit pay-package... He very innocently let it out and within the next couple of days, instead of an overheard proposal that may or may not see the light of day, the news had a very viable monetary figure attached to it and in fact, one source said that his friend's friend (have you noticed how it's always a friend's friend!) had seen an offer letter with a more-than-four-lpa figure on it.

This of course is just one example, there are many more... But I'll talk about that some other time. For now I've to get back to coding. Before I end, I'd like to apologize (to all of you except one (this post reminds me of Sanky's German link!)) if the crazily nested stuff made this blog difficult to read. You might think that this was a no-purpose post but that is not true. This blog is specifically meant for that one person to whom I refused to apologize above. I hope he lands up here someday by some freakish coincidence and struggles like crazy to make sense of what I've written. He's the guy who originally wrote the code I'm working on and for him I have this message...

INDENT YOUR F#%@ING CODE!!!

- RM